Big Bertha Thing hacked
Big Bertha Thing balloon
Cosmic Ray Series
Possible Real World System Constructs
7K Web Page
Astrophysics net ring access site
Newsgroup Reviews including sci.optics
The "Monstre" Balloon
From the book
The Ingoldsby Legends
by the Rev. Richard H. Barham
Published by Richard Edward King,
88 Curtain Road,
From Aunt Emma
March 6th 1921
(C) Copyright Tony Lance 1999
Distribute complete and free of charge to comply.
Big Bertha Thing welfare
29th April 1999
The Benefits Agency,
Further to your letter of 28th April 1999,
regarding a list of questions, on the possibility of my working at all.
I will attempt to answer your questions, in order as listed in your letter.
1.I am not working, I am just pottering arround on the internet.
I last registered for course work with the Open University in
1997. This would have involved 6 hours work per week.
I could only manage half-an-hour per day, so totally failed
to do the work or complete the course. Not even one homework
assignment was completed.
In August 1997, I bought a second hand computer for 150 pounds
sterling, and was given free access to the Open University
computer along local telephone lines at a call charge of
1p per minute.
Since that time, I managed to build up a body of correspondence,
within the limits of half-an-hour per day mental or physical work.
In January 1999, this correspondence was transfered by me to my
web site; www.bertha.ndirect.co.uk(since disabled.)
I have to pay 14 pounds and 9p per month for this site.
2.Nobody suggested it, it just happened.
3.My doctor does not know that I have a web site.
4.See answer 1 for description of my activities.
No job is being done, so no job description exists.
5.No employer exists or payments have been recieved.
6.I can think straight for half-an-hour per day.
The rest of the time is spent pottering arround.
I can do one side of A4 paper of mathematics
or computer work per day.
7.On any day free of a major shopping expedition,
I can do half-an-hour of original work and
about an hour of copy typing at non-typist speeds.
8.My principle interest is a 50 year scientific project,
which was started 30 years ago.
If I could spend 48 hours per week doing it I would.
However half-an-hour work and an hour pottering,
seems to be all I can manage and
at that not every day of the week.
Due to my condition, I asked Mrs. Pam S....,
a fellow Open University student to be the project archivist
for my work on the Open University computer.
She agreed and kept the archive of the correspondence
which is now on my web site. This is both an unusual
request and an unusually generous service
to a fellow student on incapacity benefit.
9.Zero income for as far as the eye can see.
10.Not applicable, zero wages or income.
11.August 1997 and is ongoing.
I trust that the above will put the internet feeding frenzy
of the newspaper hype into some perspective.
01 June 1998 13:19:20
From: Mansour Abou Jaoudy
Subject: Confused was Big Bertha Thing repairs
To: Tony Lance
Cc: George Ho-Yow
Hi Tony (& all)
I haven't been much on line for some time, I come here to see loads of B.B.T. stuff in my
mail box which i got no clue what to do with it.
Is this a kind of joke taking so long. I recall some time ago couple of people wanted to
be off the list but some how i still see their names on mmmmmm I see some light now ah no
don't worry that is the monitor ON ;o)
what makes me wonder, i see the OUSA Controller on the list, mmmmm i am sure she/he/they
got something more important to do, or am i wrong.
that leavs me with 3 options:
a) This is all a joke and i just did not get it.
b) This is some kind of a test to see how much mentally are we prepaired to take.
c) You playing with fire.
Now if it is "a" it is taking too long and people are getting upset (I myself one of them)
I hope it is not "b", I re-checked your resume and you seem to me not the person who will
do such a thing. you more into computers right.
that leaves "c", well what shell i say, maybe we are lucky you got a 386 PC and not a PII
There is a conference about Programming and programmers, why don't you come by and share
with us your expereince in this field, you seem you got lots of it and will be of good
help. I have to say i am the mod of that conference but have not been there for more than
3 months, i feel like a stranger now ;o))
I have included every one in my reply (although i don't know who are the "group" ) and
will try to keep it for this time only.
I read your message about internet and did not know in which conference to reply to, well
it sounds good. as i said it SOUNDS. my advice never trust anything free, specialy on the
net. they have here some kind of a free telephone they say it costs you nothing and you
can speak as much as you want, BUT while you are in conversation, every 2 minutes you get
an advirt and you have to press a key for yes/no if you press the wrong key by misstake
you might bet something home of ƒ100 which you don't want at all.
now my interesting part of the reply, The Internet ;o) here in Holland they will have
access at the end of this year through the tv cable. and Holland is the best country in
that way, since every single house got a tv cable that is handled by the cityhall. and
they said the speed will be more than 10 times an ISDN line. now that is something
OK enought talking now, back to work ;o)
and keep your fingers off the fire
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