I knew a guy that took a dump in his helmet bag tho, while airborne. He was
happy the autopilot worked...

Had a BN in VA-95 who took a dump in his Nav bag. Poor pilot had to sit there
and fly the plane while that was going on. I'll bet his mask was on and tight
when that was happening. It was a 9 hour flight.

Pilot (XO) in VAQ-135 who discovered about mid **** his relief tube was blocked
up so he told the ECMO 1 to give him his water bottle who whinned about it. He
dumped the contents of the water bottle into the floor then poured the contents
of the relief tube and his bladder into the bottle put the lid on and handed it
back to the still really whinning ECMO 1. The AME's were really happy he did
it that way since water is easy to clean up.

Finally when I was in VAQ-35 we had a Femail NF0 in ECMO 3 seat with a guy who
loathed women in the military and in particular this one who witnesed her strip
down sufficently for her to take a leak in a relief tube. I asked him what
color her skivies were and he said he didn't even look. It was on a formation
flight so the other flight got to watch and tease, as well. For her going away
present I gave her a funnel.
Sparky