"Bob Gardner" wrote in message
...
How does this comport with the theory of lift gnomes? As everyone
knows, lift gnomes reside on the upper surface of the wing (which ever
side is "up" at the moment) and derive nourishment from exhaust gases.
When throttle is added, the gnomes get stronger and lift the airplane
into the air...the reverse is true when power is reduced. Which side
of the airfoil is "up" is immaterial.

Most maneuvers can be explained by the lift gnome theory.

Bob Gardner

In addition...............from a fine friend of mine in engineering at
NASA
"
The Emerging Science of Lift Demons
Abstract- Advanced formal study of Lift has become respectable as its
radical
tenets undergo controlled experimental confirmation. As in other
difficult
fields, theorists rely on gut intuition, finding beauty in simplicity,
in
formulating grant proposals.



Introduction to Lift Demons
Ariel: "...I come
To answer thy best pleasure; be't to fly,
To swim, to dive into the fire, to ride
On the curled clouds, to thy strong bidding task
Ariel and all his quality." [SHKSPR]Graham E. Laucht
posted the following helpful
overview of Lift-
[Discussion Thread] Discuss "the hump on top of the wing that produces
lift" ...
Definitely Lift Demons, they wait unseen near the downwind end of the
runway and
hop on for the ride dismounting again on landing ready for the next
plane.
That's why taking off from the other end (looking into the big end of
the
windsock) can be tricky.
It's also why air traffic control regulates arrivals and departures
especially
in areas where there is a lack of lift demons. Like at large
international
airports where the supply of them and baggage carts is limited.
They are very sensitive to poor pilotage and can easily fall off the
wing if a
pilot lifts the nose too much whilst going slowly. A slightly roughened
surfaces
helps them to stay on longer.
Originally discovered and bred in captivity by a certain Mr Bernoulli
which
accounts for why early attempts at manned flight were often so
unsuccessful.
Being air breathing creatures they are not found at very high altitudes,
they
don't like it much when the wings are icy or dirty which seems fair
enough.
Male demons outnumber females by approximately three to one and are
predominantly found on the mainwing topsides whilst the females, which
can only
push, are found on the underside of wings and tailplanes. The males find
it
fairly easy to "pull" the females due to the imbalance in numbers. A
favourite
area for congregating males is near the wing's hump where the view is
often
better. Known scientifically as humping. Humping can be controlled by
the pilot
by raising and lowering flags at the wing ends to signify the end he
would like
them to pull hardest. The female of the species being on the undersides
are
often kept in the dark especially about the cost impact of aviation.
Demons are
sexually very active and have it away near the wing tips. Demon spawn
can
sometimes be seen streaming off the tips in a conical cocoon.
Kitbuilders generally find enough in the box for the first flight,
however
builders of porkies might not have enough to fly properly.
Neutered Demons are called vacuum and are useful for keeping coffee
warm. An
excess of neutered demons can cause breathing difficulties and should
have a
government health warning attached.
Research into demon I.Q.s shows lift demons have no comprehension
whatsoever of
what a downwind turn is.



Real NASA Wonks Discuss Lift Demons in Drag; and Stalling.
Mary Shafer ) explains lift:
--the real, intuitively-obvious-even-to-the-lay-person explanation of
lift.
People, lift is caused by lift demons. These little, invisible demons
hold on to
the leading and trailing edges of the aircraft and lift it into the air
by
flapping their wings (so, in a reductionist sense, lift is actually
caused by
feathers). Some of the demons are a little confused and they hold on
backwards,
causing drag.
The reason that planes stall at high alpha is that the leading edge
demons get
scared and let go when they can't see the ground anymore.
Lift demons have good taste and don't like to look at ugly aircraft, so
they
hold on backwards on ugly planes. That's why gliders have so much lift
and so
little drag and why F-4s have lots of drag.
John Wolter ) asked: What I would like is a
simple
*intuitive* explanation of what causes lift on a lift demon's wing.
(Here we go
again... ;-) )
Mary Shafer ) replied: Feathers. The
multiple
filaments on feathers trap the air molecules and they struggle to
escape, which
causes the action-reaction that we call lift. Bat wings don't have
feathers but
they're hairy and that works just about as well (air molecules are a
little
claustrophobic).



Once too often bitten milking demons for research, Dave Santos
) kindly tackles annoying questions by lay-people.
Can Lift Demons be held securely?
Stupid question. The little monsters are trapped in bags, for balloon or
airship
use, but escape given any opportunity. Instead of captivity, winged
aircraft are
designed to entice the demons to visit. This is not easy since they
abandon
common aircraft on very weak pretexts. For example, lift demons enjoy
engine
roar and go elsewhere when this noise stops.
Birds are so lucky. They just waggle their wings to signal a desire to
fly and
the demons eagerly bear them aloft (Penguins, an exception, are
associated with
ice, which lift demons hate. See [Grahm] (above). Other flightless birds
are
overweight, a condition despised by lift demons (see [Grahm]
("porkies")), and
[Santos] (below)). Note that bird feathers are merely ornaments evolved
to
attract demons, whose own "feathers" are the true source of lift
[Shafer]
(above).
True enough, lift demons are held by cables or chain, as in elevators
and
hoists, and in pillars and walls, by applied weight, but such abuse
ruins them
for flight (ordinary stairs cage lift demons such that, conditions
permitting,
they are heard to groan underfoot).



How Do Lift Demons Get Away WithDefying Gravity?
Lift demons are the ******* offspring of "Gravity Wells", who tolerate
the
defiant demons without acknowledging them. The rest of us risk "falling"
afoul
of these vengeful G wells, except those who flee fast enough (popularly
usage:
Escape Velocity) and far enough to also defy Gravity (slang-
"weightlessness").
Lift demons try to drop anything heavy, out of deep resentment.



What about the Sound Barrier?
What about it? Dumbest question yet... Under proper conditions, lift
demons
penetrate either sound or unsound barriers.



Tibetan-
mkha' rgyu'i yi dwags - air-dwelling hungry ghost / preta, hungry ghost
living in the air
mkha' la rgyu ba'i yi dwags - the pretas living in the air. Coming
Soon: Lift Demons and the FAA.



DRAFT// Grant Proposal- Just 8 million dollars is requested for the
formal study
of Lift by field experiment, and over the Internet (from Tahiti!). With
jet
travel and modern communications, Tahiti is no longer a paradigm
obstacle. It is
anticipated that native lift demons, as explored with state-of-the-art
frizbees,
kites, hang-gliders, and yachts, will display a high Q factor.
Phase I (5 yr. min) will result in a completed Abstract of Phase II, a
proposal
for increased funding.

Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Flight Instructor/Aerobatics/Retired