They were called,
"brew-skis."

These weren't ordinary skis. With months to lavish on them, they were
ornate in the extreme. Inlays of contrasting wood, ermine-fur straps, iron
blued to a rich blue, and gleaming metal trim hammered and worked from old
coins. Everyone had their own wood stain, with the formulas guarded
jealously. Colors ranged from Coors Light beige to a rich Guiness brown.


And the Pulitzer for Best Creative Tall-Tale Telling goes to... (the crowd goes
wild)