("W P Dixon" wrote)
[snip]
My wife left a week ago Saturday and my world has crashed upon me so to
speak. Just wondering what kind of help is out there for a crippled old
mech sport pilot in the process person ! ; )


[Longish babbling]

Not to get too personal but ... are there children involved here?

The advice is different for kids vs. no kids.

Court dates never end.
Don't say anything on the phone you don't want recorded.
Don't get divorced in the 80's --- The man hater decade.

Someone else stated - do something fresh, new:

Learn Spanish at the local community college, sign up for the YMCA - then
pound the weights, join a biking club, buy a $45K auction house and work on
it, etc. Stay super super super busy!!!

I would avoid the divorce groups - just me.
I would avoid dating for a spell, too. Work on *you* throughout the winter.

I would avoid the radio for a month or two, also. The radio is not your
friend right now - it took two months before my car radio came back on,
often times it would get switched back off after only a couple of songs.

I would limit phone conversations with "her" to 3 minutes TOPS. Do not screw
with the 3 minute rule!! More than two calls a week and you might as well be
pounding shots in a seedy bar - same good it will do you.

You are injured and bleeding. Do not reopen, then put more maggots in the
wound. Heal ...but disinfect first. g

Women call out to the herd for healing. They talk, the herd reassures them,
etc. Men need to build something. There, that'll save you 20 sessions of
silly talk therapy. Now, go build something. Your muscles, your education,
an auctioned 1974 Dodge Dart, a salvaged 152. Anything!!

On this point - do for you. Do not be eagerly "available" for others'
projects. That's too easy to fall into where you're at right now. It's all
about you - let friends help with YOUR projects. Seriously, this is all
about YOU regaining YOUR equilibrium. You can't do that building a friend's
deck, or another friend's retaining wall, or painting another friend's
house. All of that keeps you busy but gets you nowhere. You need to get
yourself somewhere other than where you are today.

Work is a 10 hour interruption in your day until you can get back to YOUR
project. No radio in the shop for now :-)

In conclusion, if it is over, you need to actually, turn, and walk away. DO
NOT stand on the dock waiting for her to wave as she sails away on your
boat.

BTDT ...and more.


Mont
I can eat fifty eggs.
Nobody can eat fifty eggs!