My relationship, exclusive dating and marriage, was 26 years. I was the
first in my family to get divorced. My parents, grandparents, aunts, and
uncles, cousins and brother married for life.

Four fraudulent domestic violence petitions, three manufactured felony sex
charges, two feigned misdemeanor sex charges (yeah, I know it sounds like I
should add "and a partridge in a pear tree...") and one hundred thousand
dollars later -- and counting -- I have the house, my two sons, the
airplane, and I get a token child support payment once per month.

I found out about a relationship my then-wife was having by checking email.
I am convinced that if I had not discovered it when I did, I would be dead
or in prison this very moment.

There were lots of times when I went to our pastor and asked him whether
Mrs. Job was a borderline, because if she wasn't, I'm not *that*
impressed.... If you have never heard of borderline personality disorder,
count yourself blessed. To quote Toby, "I wish somehow I didn't know now,
what I didn't know then."

You cannot believe the agony I went through. My ex tried to destroy me, my
professional life, my reputation, literally everything in my life. I didn't
see my children. The police were constant visitors. I lost my retirement
savings and my practice.

The point is you can never tell with women. Earlier in my life, I gave
women credit for being fundamentally stable. They have a lot going against
them, like the hormone thing, menopause and the *incredible* ease with which
they can game the legal system. Unless you have experienced first hand how
women are treated in domestic cases, you will never know how breathtaking it
is. Even though I am a white, middle-aged, middle-class professional, the
minute she walked into the court building, I instantly knew what it was like
to be a slave in the antebellum South.

I had the great good fortune to have a female judge in my trial. A lot of
the unfairness in the legal system stems from male judges and domestic
equity masters who fall for the sniffles and batting eyes. Women know that
men will do anything, absolutely anything, if there is the remotest possible
chance they will get laid.

Now my attitude with women and insanity is like pilots and
gear-ups --there's them that has, and them that will.



Well, mine is 23 years strong and I expect it to be my only one. My
family has a long history of 50+ year marriages, mostly terminated by
death. You have made the right choice for you, because, as you indicate,
selfishness and marriage don't mix. If only everyone would understand
that and make the choice before they get married the first time. :-)

Matt