retired Navy pilot
Thanks for serving our country, may God bless you

1. Join AOPA, spend a lot of time on their web site reviewing the
material they have assembled. They offer a great many other member
benefits you will not be disappointed.

children are now moving all over the country
Will you most likey be flying up and down the east coast (consider
ADS-B) or west coast? over the rockies?(must be forced induction i.e.
TSIO) into dixie or the southwest (AC comfort might make alieviate some
of the stress, and make the experience a bit more pleasent for you &
your passengers) midwest or northeast bound (may want to consider some
type of icing protection)

reasonable IFR package--but state of the art not needed
2. Avionics have changed a great deal over the years, newer is better
especially the GPS and weather products. An Auto-Pilot is your friend.

range: 1000 NM
speed: 160 KIAS +

My personal preference would be:
1989+Up Mooney M20M TLS/Bravo with Long Range Tanks (102gals vs 89gal
OEM)

Generally it will fit your price range and came from the factory with a
very good avionics package ...

It will make those numbers and more ...
with four seats and full fuel? Nope, but pretty close check out Jimmy
Garrisons article "The Lowdown on Useful Load" on
http://www.allamericanaircraft.com

Other sites of interest
http://www.mooneypilots.com
http://www.modsquad.cc
http://www.mooneyland.com

Some idea of annual maintenance costs
Those sites will help you determine that with greater precision than I
can. I looked into insurance for a 1966 Mooney M20E ($3600/1yr for a 0
TT student pilot) and read interesting article comparing the cost of
insurance for a Cirrus SR-22 vs a Mooney ... 10K vs 5K ... the Mooney
had a better rate due to its longer and enviable safety record. Just
spend some time looking over the aircraft salvage sites ... note which
makes are nothing more than of melted material, or look like crushed
beer cans or the ones that look intact. Annuals depend on the aircraft
and who you take it to ... I think the local MSC shop here charges
~$60-$65/hour ... the estimated hours depending on equipment is 20-25
hours for the 1989 model so labor is about ~1200-1675 throw in parts,
supplies and addtional labor for a couple of squawks and I think your
going see something close to 2K to 2.5K. Tie downs around here are $85
to $100 a month, hangers are damn near impossible to find, at least
where I live, wait listed for years and go for $$$ per month.
I think you are looking at something between 10K to 15K depending on
how much you fly and how well you buy.

pressurized cabin
I think you'd have to spend a great deal more money to get that.

twin engines if only because they gives you an option when the
weather deteriorates and so does one engine.

I am all for options but their are cons to owning and operating a twin.

1. Aircraft engines are expensive for a reason, quality costs money.
quality engines require, quality maintence and those engines will
consume quantities of fuel ... with a twin it is 2X ...

2. More to manage, easier to "get behind the airplane" or be "consumed
in the checklist" that you forget to "Fly the Plane" therefore it will
consume more time reconfigure for any given phase of flight. So you
drill and drill the emergency routines, your life and possibly the
lives of loved ones may one day be on the line, if you get it wrong in
a real emergency, despite your second engine, trim or configure it
wrong for whatever failure and you can easily wind up dead.

3. Smaller market for twin depresses values and makes unloading one a
bit more difficult. Facts are facts, there are roughly half a million
licensed pilots in the US. How many of those have the currency and
experience to buy a twin? I think it is going to be a tougher sell.

Good luck