Jose writes:

"Your call is important to us. Our operators are busy right now giving
their full attention to other airlines. We will be with you shortly.
Did you know that you can find most of the information you seek on our
website? Please log on to www.getlostspamcan.com. In the mean time, we
hope you enjoy our new rap hold music."

"If this is an emergency, press one. If this is a normal call, press
two. If this is a reply to a previous call directed to you, press
three.

If the emergency prevents you from maintaining your assigned altitude,
press one. If it prevents you from maintaining your assigned heading,
press two. If explosive decompression has occurred, press three. If
both pilots are unconscious, press four. If the aircraft has exploded
in midair, press five. If you have struck a mountainside or structure
while waiting for the queued reply to your last call, press six. If
none of these apply, please stand by, and a controller will personally
address your emergency as soon as possible. The current queue is ...
seven ... minutes long. Thank you for waiting.

High fashion reigns at Frammis Terminal's Duty Free Mall, with fall
colors now in stock! Reserve your table via pilot radio at the
Fallingsky lounge for fine dining after touchdown!

The current queue is ... six ... minutes long. Thank you for
waiting."

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Transpose mxsmanic and gmail to reach me by e-mail.