I thought you were a fundamentalist crackpot "doomsday
prophet"

Hehe, that reminds me of a great story. Back twenty years ago this year when I
was in high school a good buddy of mine fell asleep smoking in bed at his mom
and dad's house. He woke up to find his mattress smoldering. He ran into the
bathroom and threw several cups of water on it and dowsed the fire. He then
realized that his whole room was filled with smoke. He knew the proverbial
creek he'd be up if his mom or dad found out, so he lit a bunch of candles in
his room to mask the odor and opened the window to let the smoke out. His mom
had heard the commotion so she comes upstairs and opens his door. She looks
in, sees all the smoke and the candles burning everywhere. And there's Chris,
kneeling on the floor in front of the window waving a pillowcase up and down
trying to blow fan the smoke out the window. His mom just started screaming
and ran out of the room and down the stairs to the telephone. Being the good
Catholic family that they were she frantically called the local priest at 2AM
and told him to get over there immediately because her son Chris had become a
Satanist and was practicing black magic in his room! Hehe, I still give him a
hard time about that!