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Old November 28th 06, 02:06 PM posted to rec.aviation.piloting
Jim Macklin
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Posts: 2,070
Default A REALLY bad joke

THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

Another story... When I was a student pilot, the FBO also
did completions on "green" MU2s that were very nice. They
had one that was being done for some Arab oil baron, with
solid gold fixtures, rare wood trim and the cost was over
$500,000 when a King Air was about $400,000 [long time ago].
The plane was finished and the company test pilot took it
out for a final acceptance test flight. Shortly after
take-off the pilot called the tower to report a problem and
get a quick landing, he did not use the word, emergency. He
was calm and spoke using his best "airline pilot voice."
The tower cleared him to land on any runway and asked him to
repeat his message. They asked him again. After the
uneventful landing the tower asked him to come up to the
tower.

The tape went like this... "Capitol tower, Mitsubishi 12345
has some cock in the smoke pit." This was repeated several
times, word for word, with out having any screaming, voice
inflections or emotions.



"Judah" wrote in message
.. .
| Alan Gerber wrote in
| :
|
| Jay Beckman wrote:
| Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just
going under the
| anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???
|
| "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say
oops, but what
| the hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"
|
| My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never*
say "oops" when
| I'm carrying passengers. Ever.
|
| ... Alan
|
| OK. That reminds me of a pilot story...
|
| I had two passengers from Atlantic City in an Arrow II. We
were returning
| at night from a trip to Harrisburgh (KMDT) (Hershey,
actually). It was
| about 10pm or so...
|
| We were heading to Bader (AIY). We had been at 5000', and
coming up on the
| field (KACY off to the left) I began a descent. After
about 500', I decided
| to pull out a couple of inches of Manifold Pressure to
keep it below 24"
| RPM.
|
| As soon as I touched the throttle, the tach went redline
on the RPM, the
| engine revved like I was taking off. This was my first
experience of this
| type, so I was taken a bit by surprise. Before I realized
the words had
| come out of my mouth, I said ---
|
| "Oh, SH-T!!"
|
| Immediately, both passengers grabbed onto the doorhandles
for dear life.
|
| For the moment, appeasing my passengers was low priority.
I reduce the
| throttle to about half, and was able to get a reasonable
prop response. I
| then called ATC (I was still on with Atlantic City
Approach) and indicated
| that I had an onboard emergency, and would like to land on
their runway 13,
| just off to my left, instead of proceeding to Bader. They
cleared me to
| land and asked me the nature of the emergency.
|
| By this time, I had noticed that the oil pressure was low,
and so I told
| them that I had the plane in a stable descent, had a low
oil pressure
| indication, and should be OK to make an easy landing on
their Rwy 13.
|
| He asks me, "Do you want me to roll the equipment?"
|
| I say, "No, we've got it under control."
|
| He says, "We're gonna roll the equipment anyway. They
could use the
| practice, and are probably bored anyway."
|
| Sure enough, two fire trucks, a few ambulances, and a
couple of police cars
| followed me after an otherwise uneventful landing
(actually, quite a
| greaser!) down the runway and taxiway to the FBO. The
engine actually
| responded fairly well until we stopped the plane.
Evidently, a seal had
| leaked in one of the gaskets and I was left with about 3
quarts.
|
| I'm not a mechanic, but as it was explained to me that
when I adjusted the
| throttle, after pretty much staying in the same spot for
90 minutes or so
| enroute, the oil in the prop governer went back into the
engine, and the
| result was that there was not enough oil left in the prop
governer to
| govern the prop properly. (Say that 10 times fast!)
|
| Incidentally, one of the two passengers has flown with me
since, and the
| other one hasn't, but did say he would fly with me again
if the opportunity
| presented itself...
|
|
| It didn't take long for this story to be spread among
everybody in our
| industry. But somehow, no one really talks about how nice
the greaser was,
| or how I took command of the situation and landed us
safely.
|
| Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to
the problem in
| the plane...
|
| "Oh SH-T!!"
|