Mxsmanic wrote:
For example, knowing that I'm likely to be asked to keep my
speed up on that ILS, because he's vectoring a Hawker behind me for the
same ILS.

I've not had that experience. Like most sim pilots, I look forward to
areas and periods of high traffic so that I can get more experience in
dealing with congested airspaces. But simulation has the opposite
problem of the real world: the real world has too much traffic, and
simulation has too little. It's getting better, though (even as the
real world gets worse!).

You should "simulate" the look of fright from your wife sitting next to
you with a look of fear when you acknowledge keeping your speed up.
She's sitting over there imagining a jet that's going to ram you.