Dave Kearton wrote:
Blue Oval/Dan Edwards wrote:
NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
passing gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent
of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off
and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.


The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches
in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on
the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in
the incident.





It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.



Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other
passengers try to open the windows.




Heh heh, poor lady ... but on the other hand, the reporting passengers
did the right thing. Reporting strange odors, particularly burning
sulfur, is a good idea.

Now what to do about those folks who travel and have not bathed in
several days, do not use deodorant and emit a ghastly smell similar to
that of rotted Limburger cheese?

I used to travel every week in my last couple of years in the Army. One
time I sat next to a guy on an Eastern flight from National Airport to
Miami and then on to Panama. He actually apologized for his terrible
body odor when we sat down, and explained that he had a medical
condition which caused his -- are you ready for this -- smegma to have a
foul odor.

Every time I spread some ancient Gorgonzola cheese onto crackers I have
to repress the memory of that day.

And I like the "when I fart on a plane the other passengers try to open
the windows." comment. And I thought I was the only one that happened to!

Fragrantly,

Dave