("Jay Honeck" wrote)
Uh, well, obviously you haven't stayed in our Red Baron Suite.
Jacuzzi hot tub, full kitchen, delivered breakfast each morning,
balcony overlooking Rwy 25, maid service...


How would you keep him there?

I was going to suggest this tried and true solution:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065051/
Support Your Local Sheriff (1969)

(Jason McCullough) "Gentlemen, do we have a jail here?"

(Mayor Olly Perkins) "Do we have a jail? A brand new one with two cells
that the whole community pitched in and built last month!"

(Fred Johnson) "Just like a barn raising."

(Henry Jackson) "Even the dancehall girls showed up. They made sandwiches
and carried on like crazy."

(Mayor Olly Perkins) "It was designed to be practically escape proof."

(Jason McCullough) "Well, good, because I think I'm going to have to throw
a couple of people in it."

(Mayor Olly Perkins) "There's only one thing. This new jail is sure got
everything."

(Fred Johnson) "Even a new stove with a coffee pot already on it."

(Mayor Olly Perkins) "The only thing it hasn't got is iron bars for the
cells."

[....later]

(Joe Danby) "You expect me to sit here in this lousy cell on that..."

[notices the red paint drippings on the floor]
(Joe Danby) "What is that red stuff all over the floor there?"

(Jason McCullough) "Oh, uh..."

[waves his boot over the paint]
(Jason McCullough) "...that's the poor fella that crossed the line earlier
today."

[...and later, still]

(Joe Danby) "Pa, you always told me there wasn't a jail been built that
could hold a Danby."

(Pa Danby) "Well, now they've built one!"

(Joe Danby) "Aww."

(Pa Danby) "You'll have to stay here for a couple of days."

(Joe Danby) "But we run this town."

(Pa Danby) "I gotta throw in with that sheriff that you don't exactly
dazzle nobody with your intelligence."


P-Mont