On Sat, 20 Dec 2008 09:49:51 -0800, "Stuart Fields"
wrote:


"Dan" wrote in message
...
Andy Asberry wrote:
On Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:28:24 GMT, "Beauciphus"
wrote:

"Dan" wrote in message
...

I would have assumed he'd offer to give free breast exams seeing as
he's not busy at this time.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired
If it was me, the cute little blond nurse would accept, the shift would
change, and I'd end up with big, fat, hairy male nurses.

She really was a cute blond nurse who came into my room and said she
needed to pull my gown up. I asked where were you 50 years ago? That
was when she unrolled the catheter.

With a cervical collar, I couldn't even look down.

Not much better, awhile back I had the pleasure of an inflated genuine
USAF issued foley catheter pop out. I'll omit the description of the
effects. Let's just say there are very few people upon whom I'd wish the
experience

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired
Well a guy I know was working as an orderly in a hospital and received word
to bring his cleaning gear and a ladder to wing 5 room 52. He said he had
never needed a ladder before but he took one anyway. When he got to the
room the nurses were having a hard time to avoid laughing. It seems some
elderly lady was in because of extreme constipation and had been given large
doses of a laxative which didn't do much good. However, she dropped her
glasses and bent over to fetch them, well the ladder was needed because of
the requirement posed by the condition of the ceiling. While it seems
impossible, it was told by THE honest ex-orderly.

Reminds me of when I had my stroke two years ago in April.
The guy in the other bed had back surgery and like many his plumbing
sorta clogged up and they wouldn't let him go home until he could use
the can. So what was supposed to be his last day there I think they
gave him every chemical known to man except straight phenophalen, but
hours passed without even passing gas. So at lunch time I jokingly
suggested "prune juice". The nurse said that's a great idea and he
though he'd give it a try.

So they dumped a big glass of prune juice, often known as "Nature's
Dynamite" on top of all those chemicals he'd already taken. Bout an
hour later I heard him remark, "I think maybe it's gonna work" and
asked his wife to "Help me out of bed...What are you doing, I think
you better hurry. Ohhhhh...Gawd!"... They didn't need the step
ladder, but darn near needed to hose down the other side of the room.