If, by the time we get to the airplane, (s)he hasn't asked me how much
my wife weighs, then I know (s)he hasn't done a weight and balance.

Woah right there big feller. That's not a valid conclusion on your part.
Having done flight manifests for crew changes in the past I can estimate
your
weight visually. I also know my aircraft well enough to know how much
weight
can go where and what the margins are.

How in the hell can you estimate the weight for somebody you've never seen
or are ever likely to see? For all you know she is Grizelda the wrestler
and carries around a concrete purse. Remember I said that they were to
PRETEND that four people were going on the trip.


If
I ask him/her what the weather is like at the target airport and (s)he
mutters vague generalities, then I know (s)he hasn't checked FSS or
DUATs weather.

Maybe this is a valid conclusion. You'd like to hear a precise weather
description but many folks don't think that way. They may think
acceptable/marginal/bad for weather descriptions.

I can accept those three versions IF they can tell me on what they based
their classification. A mumbled "It's OK" doesn't cut it.



If (s)he doesn't use a checklist during the preflight or
during pre-engine start, then I stop right then and there and tell the
pilot that perhaps they might like to reschedule the flight for another
day as I'm not comfortable flying with them.

A checklist is not a dolist. Review the checklist as the final part of the
activity on familiar aircraft. I generally don't look at the checklist on
pre-glight or engine start. I will review each item from the top after
run-up
is complete.

YOu and I were taught by different people. A checklist is just that ... a
step by step list of todos so that you don't forget something. It is very
easy for the mind to go through a "familiar list" and be so rote that you
really DID think you were on both mags when you were only on one.

Jim