On Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:59:11 -0500, Dudley Henriques
wrote:

wrote:
On Feb 3, 2:50 pm, Dudley Henriques wrote:
THIS is the real reason.

And let it be known as well that lift and thrust are directly
proportional to the AMOUNT of money spent :-)

--
Dudley Henriques

I thought lift and thrust were a function of the square root of
the amount of money spent. For helicopters, it's the cube root.


I'd been ignoring this thread until I see some of the pilots who know
what's going on had chimed in and it seems I wasn't disappointed.

Of course Cecil has the basics correct in that essentially there is
only one thing that makes an airplane fly and that is money and it's
easily proven. Start with a design: if you want it to go farther it
costs more money. If you want it to go faster it costs a lot more
money. If you want it to go faster AND farther the cost gets
ridiculous. However if you are foolish enough to want to move
something farther and faster with said airplane the const is
unbelievable.

Now as to Dudley's lift Demons, it's been proven that about half of
the increased money goes into the cost of the aircraft and the other
half is bribery money to payoff the Lift Demons. They're lazy little
critters that loath to do much work. They hate to lift things and
they neither like to move fast or for more than a few minutes at a
time so you have to hire them to work in shifts. On top of that they
have more skilled trades than the Auto workers.

First off, each airport has it's own accelerate and stop unions. These
are the Demons that accelerate your plane down the runway so the Lift
Demons that belong to the climbing union can take the plane up to
altitude where the cruise union takes over as well as the group that
catches the landing plane and slows it to a stop. (that second group
brings up some problems I'll get to later). Now the Demons in the
climb Union are like a bunch of burley doc workers. They can lift a
lot, but not real fast and with all that muscle burning carbs they can
eat you out of house and home if you try to climb too fast or too
long. They are only willing to do so much work so if you try to climb
too fast, steep, or for too long they start borrowing from the cruise
union which tires out the cruise Demons. They just don't have the
stamina for that kind of work so you end up losing a lot of range.

At any rate, the cruise union has it the easiest as they like to ease
off a little and just sit up there enjoying the view. Of course this
brings us to the descent demons who are more or less just along for
the ride until the landing demons take over. Now this is where things
get sticky. Remember I mentioned each airport has it's own accelerate
and stop Demons. Now if the landing Demons belong to the same union as
the stop Demons, or are at least on good terms with the local you are
in fine shape, but these guys tend to be quite territorial and often
there is a bit of a tussle as to which group lands the plane with the
result often being a less than elegant touchdown. The poor pilot
usually gets blamed for the results of this territorial dispute when
he was just an innocent bystander. So the next time a flight goes
great except for the landing,, don't blame the folks up front. It
really wasn't their fault. Blame the airport manager for skimming too
much off the top of the bribes to the Lift Demons or the locals being
a bit too greedy with their territory.

Roger (K8RI)

Dan


Lift Demons!
Roger Halstead (K8RI & ARRL life member)
(N833R, S# CD-2 Worlds oldest Debonair)
www.rogerhalstead.com