Headlines in America after 8 years of Obama Administration


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly
known as California

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe
levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned
all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89
and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to
weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in
United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is
selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only
open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their
civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be
registered by January 2030 .

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.