My Latest Adventure
On Apr 2, 3:01*pm, Mark wrote:
On Fri, 02 Apr 2010 18:54:25 +0100, Rev. Diva Schematic wrote:
On 02/04/2010 16:51, Mark wrote:
On Fri, 02 Apr 2010 09:22:25 +0100, Rev. Diva Schematic wrote:
On 02/04/2010 00:12, Mark wrote:
On Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:27:36 +0100, Rev. Diva Schematic wrote:
On 01/04/2010 21:16, Mark wrote:
On Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:03:29 +0100, Rev. Diva Schematic wrote:
On 01/04/2010 19:51, Mark wrote:
I was arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland after
I had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the
world.
I also claim responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in
November last year.
I was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted me
rooting around in bins. I explained that I was looking for fuel for my
'time machine power unit', a device that resembles a kitchen blender.
I was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for my age nor would
I reveal my country of origin.
"Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs
boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats
for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to
stop it ever happening."
This isn't the first time my time-travel has been blamed for mishaps
at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and
Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the
hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow
caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.
Professor Brian Cox, a former CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll
TV scientist, was sympathetic to me.
"Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention
bloody black holes, the crazy fukknutzoid."
I was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later
disappeared from my cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
They know it is me, Mark(ie), the creative genius.
Aww, at least some Americans may now go and look up Professor Brian Cox.
* * *He's like Carl Sagan, only he played keyboards in a boyband for a bit.
Of course, this is old news, there's already been a story about someone
claiming to be the great, great grandson of Brian arrested at CERN on
Tuesday.
*YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?*
GO **** A LIZARD, CUMBREATH*
If you were able to time travel, and were genuinely ****ed off with me,
you could appear here now and slap me in the chops. *That you haven't
appeared yet is proof enough.
Forget this childish internet stuff. I dare you to
reveal your identity. If you don't you're a coward.
Any time, any place. *Bring your friends. I don't mind.
Waiting...
*I DARE YOU. GO **** A DUCK*
---
Mark, ancestor of the Vikings
My name is Louise, I live in East Lancashire, I am unemployed, I used to
be a journalist.
There you go, that's enough to be going on with. Good day. *What do I win?
*I'LL KICK YOUR ASS UNTIL IT BLEEDS PURPLE HOW'S THAT?*
Aww, kicking a girl. How big of you, "Mark".
You kick me, and I'll stab you in the face. Seems fair.
I don't care if you are a girl.
But since you are, Did I mention how beautiful all my new porcelin
crowns look? *Yeah, just like Hollywood. *I'm convinced my new white
smile is playing a part in keeping my new 15 year old girlfriend
mesmerized. Or maybe it's just all this enthusiastic confident energy
I'm exuding. *What young beauty wouldn't **** a tall, muscular, rich
pilot-musician.
Hell, if I was a beautiful young girl, I'd let me... **** me.
Speaking of ****ing- Hey *go **** yourself. *LOL! *No one else will..
Ha ha ha ha ha. *
Ha, ha. *Damn, I'm so much better than you.
Mark, rich handsome genius
*NOT A pedo**** LIKE U*
here's some more terms for you to googal; Madonna-Whore complex,
Oedipus, Mother ****er. Enjoy!
|