AviationBanter - View Single Post

**Michael Baldwin, Bruce**

wrote:
Check out the penis expectations on this:

Wants: Fun, carefree guy with no hangups or hidden girlfriends or
wifes. Looking for a man who is over 5ft 9 in height at least, and

Saucerheads need not apply.

willing to enjoy sex and experimenting. D & D free only need respond.
Although I'm not bi, I have an attractive (ie model looks) close
female friend who would be interested in joining in for a free
threesome if thats what your interested in. PS my toys are starting to
wear out.

Ah, a battery bitch.

To catch my attention you must:
A . Be Good looking and under 85 kg at least.

No bodybuilders?

B. Not be a bogan or look like one .

Saucerheads luck out again.

C. Have a job of importance (a real one)....lying on the couch
watching footy is not a real one.

Since when?

D. Have no so called funky hairstyle or gross tatts (shaved heads are
ok)
E. Enjoy a laugh even at your own expense.
F. Dont try to crack on to my model girlfriends (we know whats on your
mind).

So she's jealous of her better looking friends.

G. Under no circumstances, try to crack on to my mother.

A0L! Even her mother is better looking than her!

H. If your looking for a free financial ride, unless you own a bemma
or similar like mine (keep looking) .

Bemma?

I. Like eating at expensive restauants and staying in 5 star
accommodation and letting me pay the bill.

Like I'd pay for her!

J. Don't screw around behind my back because I WILL know about it.
K. Be clean shaven.
L. Preferably be clean shaven or waxed on both back and chest. (The
Ape man look isnt really fashionable anymore).

Please dont think that I'm too picky, and am looking for someone who
doesn't exist. I know he's out there somewhere, but I know what I want
and won't accept second best. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy as am
already financial comfortable. If worst comes to worse and there's no
decent men down here then I'll just have to move states. Ohhhhh. PS If
you send me a message, please have something to say about yourself
rather than "Hi, how are you".

Tell her to move interstate - for the rest of us!