"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...

We gotta get rid of turbines, they are ruining aviation. We need to go
back to
big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a
switch
from "OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a
while.
My PC is harder to start. Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse
and
style. On some planes, the pilots are not even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing. When you start
a
round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight
ahead.


Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly
exciting. Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,
complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and sounds like
it's
going to blow at any minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines
don't
have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to
fiddle with during the flight.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns. Round
engines
smell like God intended flying machines to smell.


Turbines ARE big round engines.