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Old September 22nd 07, 09:44 AM posted to demon.local,alt.talk.bollocks,comp.os.os2.advocacy,alt.astronomy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce[_2_]
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Posts: 642
Default Weekly News Statistics for demon.local: week ending 14 Sep 2007.

Peter Hucker wrote:
On Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:31:31 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote:

Peter Hucker wrote:
On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:37:15 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote:

Peter Hucker wrote:
On Sun, 16 Sep 2007 00:22:09 +0100, Michael Baldwin, Bruce wrote:

Peter Hucker wrote:
All you have proven is you have less of a life than me.

Au contraire, PHucker. If anything, I lead a more vibrant life than
you.

A vibrant life on usenet, yes ok......

And elsewhere. At least I don't have parrots squawking about the place
at all hours.

They shut up at night.


What? You tape their little beaks up?


I switch the lights off.


I see. Butt, of course, you wouldn't! A0L!

2. anonym............................................ : 115 16.4 8.7%
3. ah................................................ : 75 10.7 5.7%
4. @@^.............................................. : 73 10.4 5.5%
5. John \"C\.........................................: 68 9.7 5.2%
6. Paul {Hamilton Rooney}............................: 62 8.9 4.7%
7. Naked Gonad.......................................: 54 7.7 4.1%
8. Mr Pounder........................................: 53 7.6 4.0%
9. Peter Hucker......................................: 50 7.1 3.8%

A0L! Barely scraped into the top 10.

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass?

Why would you wiggle your arse when brushing you teeth? ... oh!

Conservation of angular momentum.

On what basis do you make that k'lame?

Physics.


What does that have to do with arses, PHucker?


Angular arse rotation is due to physics.


I suspect you like to get physical with arses.

When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party,
the husbands refused to go and pick them up,
and instead left them to their own devices.

That was lame.

But amusing.


Indeed.


[Bows]


Don't flatter yourself.

When Ma & Pa first arrived on the homestead Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma if trouble comes while I'm out in the field a plowin' then you just ring that bell and I'll come a running.
The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says, "Them boys are givin' me a hard time about doin' the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molasses without lickin' the blade clean first."
Pa says, "You mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this?? Next time it had better be important!"
The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. "Pa", she says "some jackass came ridin' through here on a mule and ran right through the clothes line and rurnt the washin'." At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin' what but then he yells "I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin' on. If this happens again I'm goin' to raise holy hell!!!"
The next day Pa hears the bell again and grabbin' up a board heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows.
Pa looks at Ma and says "Now that's more like it."


Now that was funny.


[bows again]


Turkey.

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?


Why ask me?