How much are
lessons typically and the license fees?

I think a private license can be done for around $5000-$7000 depending on
what toys you buy and how long it takes you

Once your done with the
certification, how do you access a plane? Do you rent, lease, buy?
What's
the price range for all of these things.

i rent myself runs between $75-$100 an hour for cessna 172 depending on how
new the plane is current fuel prices and which model 172. you can buy cessna
150s start around 20K or so

Would it ever be feasable to fly
yourself somewhere else for a vacation for a week, or would it be too
expensive? How noisy are planes? Will I need earplugs?

if you own it no problem w/ renting talk to the renter and see what it'd
cost some require perday minimum hours. yes they are noisy thats what
headsets are for.

Oh, and I wear glasses, monofocal about -2.5 diopter plus astigmatism
correction of about 2.5 as well. Will this be a problem?

go get your medical and find out. I dont think it should be.