Fav CAG story (was US Navy nose cone colours?)

Chimp Head? I'm dying over here.

I remember one "fly off from hell" - one of the Turkeys was hard down the whole
cruise. No wait, that was nearly ALL of them... At any rate, one of them had
become a picked over shell, nearly picked clean by maint piranhas, with the
assumption that it would be craned off if we were ever allowed to return to
port. Boss and CAG decided that the thing needed to prove it could fly, and
they directed the VF squadron that owned what was left (Bureau number and a
pile of parts in the general shape of an F-14A) to make that thing a "flyer",
at least to get it off the boat. Pour Mil-L-23699 in the top, watch where it
pours out the bottom and go find the missing fitting, etc., for two weeks
solid. Electronics? "Hell, boy, its going to be a day launch with plenty of
comp'ny - yarn't going to need any navigation!" So flyoff day came, and a
whole lot of nervous folks waited to see the hemorraging flying ICU patient go
"splash" off the cat. Lots of extra cameras on deck for that launch. Prior to
engine runup, sitting on the cat as the ship pointed its nose at the Virginia
coast "right over there", the pilot was given a last warning to "just fly it
straight - we're lined up on Oceana!" - then the oil bowser was disconnected
(quite necessary as there was still plenty dribbling out the bottom) and
everyone got their cameras ready.

Whoosh - down the cat track and off into air. Drifting lower, but no apparent
fire...yet. The F-14, lagging far behind its mates, made a straight line run
to Oceana and a nice long rest at NARF. We were all DAMN surprised that thing
didn't skip its way to shore like a stone. A grape next to me asked, "I thought
that thing was supposed to crash?" "Accidents happen, bud: it 'accidentally'
didn't crash."

I always wondered who got the short straw and flew it ashore - I bet his
memories of that flyoff include some colorful language cornerning our
chimpheaded friend!

v/r
Gordon