Need Advice

Hi All -

I've decided to confess to R.A.P. that I am in need of some help and advice.
I have lost my passion and confidence of flying.

Since February, for the first time in my life, I started to suffer from
symptoms of anxiety. At first, I didn't really know what was wrong, just
that I didn't feel 'right'. My best guess as to the cause of it? A
monumental change in my life occurred at that time, the ending of a 6 1/2
year relationship. While I've moved on to seeing another person, that's
been kind of rocky all summer. So that side of my personal life hasn't been
stable one bit.

Just to be sure, I went to my doc, had all kinds of blood test done, etc..
Squeaky clean. He said I appear to be the healthy 28 year old he's always
known.

I'll try to describe the symptoms... I've been flying with a safety pilot
at least once a month to keep at it. Short flights such as pattern work
seem to be OK. I felt like I was finally starting to come around, when I
decided to do a 50NM XC. After getting aloft, and realizing there wasn't
much 'busy' work to do like make radio calls, etc, I started to get the
symptoms: sweat, shortness of breath, dizziness. I had to constantly fidget
and talk to the other pilot to keep my mind off it. Once the destination
airport was near, they went away.... Same thing happened on the way
back....

This also occurs in the car on occasion.. Notably, if I stop at a red
light, and there is nothing to do but wait for the light, and there was no
escaping. ('Fight or Flee' mode I think is what they call it). Or if I
ride as a passenger, it would occur more.

I picked up a book on ways to _naturally_ fight anxiety and panic, and it
seems to describe my issues perfectly. I have already started doing a few
things it suggests, such as abdominal breathing, relaxation techniques,
cutting out the boatloads of caffeine that I used to ingest.. I think I've
made a remarkable improvement, now that I understand it a little better. I
haven't had a full-out 'attack' hit me ever since I started reading the
book. Sometimes I can feel the anxiety coming, but if I encourage it to
'bring it on', it goes away. It only affected me the most when I tried to
fight it away.

So, what does this young pilot and aircraft owner ask of the group? I'd
like some feedback and stories if anything like this has ever happened to
you, or someone you know, and what was done to overcome it.. I am extremely
conservative when it comes to safety, so this has absolutely grounded me
from flying. (without at least a pilot rated pax). Even with the co-pilot,
it just doesn't seem to be fun anymore, because of this problem. I wish so
bad to get back to the days where I was excited about flying 3 times a week,
and exploring new airports... Surely, there must be hope.

Please let me know if you have any words of advise. Thanks,

--
Ben
C-172 - N13258 @ 87Y