some funny (but scary) stuff...

...i heard on the scanner today.

while listening to my scanner at work (near CMH) the humor//fear started off
like this...

tower: Southwest 521, cleared on the ILS for runway 28 right, your traffic
is a warrior at 2 o'clock, i'm not talking to him yet..

tower: warrior one whiskey alpha, I show you 3 miles northeast, enter right
base for (voice gets elevated) 28 LEFT, you are two miles in front of a
southwest 737 on final.

couldn't hear much of pilots' transmissions for some reason.

tower: you are supposed to talk with approach before you talk to me, now
where did you come from?

pilot: errr, ummm, ahhh (squirming in seat)

tower: well, you put yourself right in front of landing heavies, DON"T DO
THAT

(reply)

tower: OK!..clear to land, runway 28 left.

after a minute, plane lands...

tower: warrior one whiskey alpha, right on echo 2 if able. (plane still
rolling down runway)

(reply)

tower: ok, well, I don't know where your wife is. there are four FBO's on
the field (names all four), if I had to guess I would say that she would be
at Lane Aviation.

(reply)

tower: all right, let's try Lane. 180 approved on 28L, then left on Echo 1.

(longish pause, some comm with other a/c)

tower: one whiskey alpha, you just passed it, it's there on your left, slow
down and 180 agian back to echo1 and pull up on the ramp. call Lane on
122.95. That's a unicom freq. 122.95.

by now I'm laughing out loud. I continue working for a couple of hours, then
the finale.

Tower: one whiskey alpha, you are on tower freq, you need to contact
clearance delivery, 126.30

pause

ground (different controller): one alpha whiskey taxi to runway 28 left.

another pause.

tower controller, on ground freq (Let me handle this guy), audibly getting
excited again

ground: one alpha whiskey, you are still on ground freq, you need to contact
tower for takeoff clearance.

Tower: OK, one alpha whiskey, let's get you outta' here, winds calm, cleared
for takeoff on 28 left, left turn to 350.

pause

tower: one alpha whiskey, contact departure

pilot replies, everything seems OK.

several minutes go by, no other radio transmissions from one alpha whiskey

tower: warrior one alpha whiskey do read me? one alpha whiskey you were to
contact departure. one alpha whiskey if you can hear me, radar services are
terminated.

The thing that amazed me, is that even though the controller did raise his
voice a bit, he remained very professional. If this guy had pulled that
stunt over at OSU, those guys would have barbequed his butt (verbally).

Sounds like pretty typical radio traffic around here.

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 18:29:43 -0800, "C J Campbell"
wrote:

Sounds like pretty typical radio traffic around here.

I still got the most entertainment listening to the guy telling MBS
approach, "Ahhh... I have a jet off my wing. What's going on?".

Roger Halstead (K8RI & ARRL life member)
(N833R, S# CD-2 Worlds oldest Debonair)
www.rogerhalstead.com

Why would he have a jet off his wing?


Roger wrote:

I still got the most entertainment listening to the guy telling MBS
approach, "Ahhh... I have a jet off my wing. What's going on?".

Roger Halstead (K8RI & ARRL life member)
(N833R, S# CD-2 Worlds oldest Debonair)
www.rogerhalstead.com

--
Mike Flyin'8

wrote:

Why would he have a jet off his wing?

Might've busted a TFR.

George Patterson
He who marries for money earns every penny of it.

Ah... I get it now... :-) Little slow on the uptake I guess.

I was thinking Jet=737, not Jet=F15



On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 22:58:39 GMT, George Patterson
wrote:



wrote:

Why would he have a jet off his wing?

Might've busted a TFR.

George Patterson
He who marries for money earns every penny of it.

Mike Alexander
PP-ASEL
Temecula, CA

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 22:58:39 GMT, George Patterson
wrote:



wrote:

Why would he have a jet off his wing?

Might've busted a TFR.

It were!

The guy was absolutely clueless. Must have been related to the pilot
to which Denny referred.

Some where back in the archives there should be a
transcription/narration of the conversation.

There were about 6 or 8 of us in the hanger and the laughter was so
loud it was difficult to hear the radio.

Some years back I was southbound at roughly 190 MPH talking to Ft
Wayne app while trying to stay low enough to stay out of the clag and
high enough not to hit something. It was not a good day but at least I
knew where I was and so did they. Well as good as we could with VORs
and DME.

I figured I'd just keep heading for the VOR unless, or until they said
something. Finally in an apologetically sounding voice I heard...
Ahhh... thirty three romeo, we really need you to turn heading zero
nine zero for traffic avoidance. I responded with an immediate turn
and they responded with a thank you and told me when it was safe to
turn south again. :-))

Coming back from the north today I had one eye on the temperature and
the other on the wings. I didn't want to file as that would have
added about 3000 to my current 3000 which would have put me in the
soup which was a tad frosty. (and the weather forecast was for blue
sky)

Roger Halstead (K8RI & ARRL life member)
(N833R, S# CD-2 Worlds oldest Debonair)
www.rogerhalstead.com

George Patterson
He who marries for money earns every penny of it.

Ya missed Saturday at Jackson (KJXN), Roger, K8OT and I were taking off
on 14 for a left turn to the Northeast... I won't do the transcript
method here..
xxWhiskey calls tower... Tower comes back with wind, altimeter, etc.,
and asks for position... xxWhiskey says he is 4 miles Northeast at
2,400 feet (already has busted into the control area).. I'm now 2 miles
NE climbing through 2k for 3.5k and the puckerstrings jerk tight, and
the eyeballs go into rapid rotation (no joy)), so the nose is pushed
over and I head downhill in a gentle bank, with all four eyeballs on
the swivel... After a few seconds tower says he does not see xxWhiskey,
to turn on his landing lights... Short pause and xxWhiskey says his
landing light was on and 'maybe' he is Northwest of the field, err no,
maybe he's due North, maybe...
Towers voice has gone up a half octave by now, he tells xxWhiskey to
MAINTAIN his altitude and report two miles DUE NORTH of the field...
Tower then holds short an airplane previously cleared to take the
runway on 14 (smart controller) and proceeds to warn all traffic in the
area to be alert... After roughly a minute xxWhiskey comes on,
apologizes saying he has a new GPS and it is a bit confusing, but then
his voice brightens up and he cheerfully announces he is EXACTLY two
miles North of the field... Tower still doesn't see him... Spins around
and finds him two miles SOUTH of the field, down low, and bore sighted
on the control cab ... By now you can feel the controller grinding his
teeth, though he remains civil... xxWhiskey is advised he is to tun to
left base for 32 right NOW (the landing light in the eyes at cab level
must have bothered the controller) and is cleared to land, and to CALL
the tower after landing... I would have loved to eavesdrop on that
phone call...

Denny

I would have loved to eavesdrop on that
phone call...

Denny

Just a little off topic: I played golf with a priest, and asked him how he
could enjoy the game given he had to restrict his language. He told me he found
he could quote scripture to express his feelings. I wonder if the controller
was an old testiment scholar?

emove (AJW) wrote in
:

I would have loved to eavesdrop on that
phone call...

Denny

Just a little off topic: I played golf with a priest, and asked him
how he could enjoy the game given he had to restrict his language. He
told me he found he could quote scripture to express his feelings. I
wonder if the controller was an old testiment scholar?

Which scripture passages contain four-letter words?