Your very own suspected terrorist

Did you invite him along for a ride?

Dave

Michael wrote:

I have often wondered, with GA under increased scrutiny, how long it
would be before one of us was investigated as a suspected terrorist.
I never thought I would be first.

I came home from the airport last night to find a business card stuck
in the door of my apartment. It had the embossed gold emblem (which
costs quite a bit extra - I guess, unlike the company I work for, the
federal government isn't exactly watching its pennies) of the FBI, and
a note on the back asking me to call. I did, but of course everyone
had gone home for the day so all I got was voice mail.

In the morning, I left another message - seems nobody was in the
office at 8:30 AM either - and eventually got a call back. The
special agaent (what is a special agent, anyway, and how does he
differ from a regular agent?) informed me that he needed to speak with
me personally. At first he didn't want to tell me what it was about,
being vague about having to investigate a complaint, but when I
pressed him he broke down and told me I was under suspicion as a
terrorist! I nearly cracked up.

I suppose that had I actually been an international terrorist, I would
have immediately driven to the airport and taken the next flight out
of the country. Or, given that the Mexican border is only a few hours
drive South, I could have left that way. Then again, I suppose I
would have done that the previous evening, the moment I saw the card.
But since I'm not a terrorist, I simply made an appointment to meet
him at work.

He showed up at the receptionist's desk later that morning. He wore a
suit and tie and carried a briefcase, so he didn't look out of place.
I escorted him to my office, told him to take a seat, and closed the
door. He showed me his ID, and we got down to business.

The agent had NOT done his homework. He didn't know how old I was,
where I was born - anything. Since I am a naturalized citizen, I know
I have a file at the INS - but he didn't, and didn't even bother to
check. After we got through the basics, the story came out.

Seems that someone at my apartment complex had pegged me as
suspicious. I was getting packages and magazines with aviation
markings, and some of them were marked as hazardous materials. Of
course for shipping purposes, aviation paints, primers, dopes,
preservatives, and adhesives are all considered hazardous materials.
Yup, you guessed it. The stuff I had shipped to do my annual this
year (and it was a big annual) made me a terrorism suspect. A dark
tan (we don't have much of a winter in Houston, and I tan easily) and
a beard sealed the deal.

I told him about my airplane, and the annual I was doing. I even
showed him a picture. Like most people, he was amazed that the plane
was a 1965 model, and noted that they seem to hold up better than
cars. No, they don't - they require lots of care. Thus all the boxes
of parts, primers, paints, lubricants... He examined my pilot and
flight instructor certificates, and seemed confused. He said he
couldn't find an expiration date on my pilot certificate. I had to
explain to him that unlike flight instructor certificates, pilot
certificates don't expire. He carefully noted the numbers on his pad,
but I could see his heart wasn't in it anymore.

A few minutes later, I escorted him out of the building. I guess my
moment of glory as a suspected international terrorist was over, so I
returned to my desk, wondering how much tax money was wasted on this
nonsense.

Michael
The pilot formerly known as a suspected international terrorist

Just to update you, Dylan..

Wayne has been transplanted to the line over at Clover.. been there a
while.

And FINALLY.. the club has a complex in it again.. a Cardinal RG..
wonderful plane.

Havent seen many FBI types poking around "Pearland Regional" now, but..
since the Bin Ladin's dont own this one.. Grin


Ok, rest of usenet, sorry about the "personal mail"

Dave

Dylan Smith wrote:

In article X4mQb.135255$xy6.571383@attbi_s02,
Pilot Bob (I am just a great guy!!) wrote:

Also, I think Michael did the right thing by not behaving like a jerk. This
agent now knows something about general aviation - that is good for us, and
also might give the agent some ideas on how to look for the really bad guys.


Speaking of the FBI and airports, when Houston Gulf used to be an
airport and not a housing estate, just after Sept. 11th, the line guy
there saw some suspicious people poking around the plane. Being a small
airport where everyone knows everyone else, he went and asked them who
they were. Well, they were FBI agents taking a look around.

A couple of weeks later when the press discovered that SPX was owned by
a relative of Osama Bin Laden, there was a minor press frenzy (locally
at least). One reporter went to the airport, and Wayne the lineman
explained how SPX had much better security than any of the big airports.
Everyone knows everyone else, he told them. If we see strangers poking
around or looking out of place we'll find out what they are up to. The
reporter asked Wayne whether he'd seen any suspicious characters. He
said "Yes".
The reporter, sensing a good story, wanted to naturally delve deeper so
asked who they were.
"The FBI", Wayne replied.
The reporter was speechless :-)

"Jay Honeck" wrote in message news:UBfQb.4483$U%5.26339@attbi_s03...
Seriously, instead of doing a big background check and looking up all your
papers, sounds like the agent did the smart thing -- he just asked you. He
was able to learn a lot more about you and the issues involved that way.
They would have noticed if you had tried to flee.

Right. Had he been a real terrorist, Michael would have evaporated into thin
air when the doofus FBI agent left his card on his door.

FWIW, that could have been something they were watching for. Just
because no one is answering calls at the office, doesn't mean no
one is working.

Criminy -- this "special agent" acted less covertly than I did

But we don't know that, actually. In fact, we don't know how
much investigation he'd done before contacting Michael; if he
*had* looked in his INS file/bank account/whatever, from an
abstract POV it would seem to be a sound strategy to try to
persuade the interviewee that you have no prior info, so that
you can see how well what you're told matches up with what you
already know.

I'm not trying to suggest that's what actually happened, just
pointing out the appearance shouldn't be taken for the whole.

Cheers,
Sydney

"Marco Leon" mleon(at)optonline.net wrote
Very good point CJ. I bet he knew the answer to everything he asked.

Yeah, and he was having my apartment watched. And my truck was being
tailed when he called me that morning. Sure. You keep telling
yourself that.

As for me, I call bull****.

Michael

"Cub Driver" wrote in message
...
|
| Well, compared to the $50 million Congress just approved to build a RAIN
| FOREST here in Iowa City, Iowa
|
| It should do wonders for the motel business, Jay.
|
| I mean, who'd want to see a rain forest in Louisiana or even worse
| Guatamala? Too hot and sticky.
|

I live near Seattle. My house is within an hour's drive of one of the most
dense rain forests in the world. Not all rain forests are in the tropics.

In article , Cub Driver
writes:


When I first got Quicken and pre-printed checks, I was so excited that
I forgot to sign the first batch.

I called the IRS to tell them of this terrible problem. They just
laughed. (First time I ever heard a laugh from the IRS.) "Let's wait
until next month and see what happens."


I once accidentally put my mortgage payment in an IRS envelope and the much
smaller check to the IRS in my mortgage company envelope. Both checks cleared
even though clearly typed.

The bank sent me a past due notice for the difference, which I paid the next
day. It took 8 months to get the excess back from the IRS.

Did I mention www.FairTax.org

Don

--
Wm. Donald (Don) Tabor Jr., DDS
PP-ASEL
Chesapeake, VA - CPK, PVG

in article , Michael at
wrote on 1/23/04 11:47 AM:

Seems that someone at my apartment complex had pegged me as
suspicious.

Probably the same asshole that flagged the flight simulator purchase at
Staples, or Office Depot, or wherever it was. As Dennis Miller once said,
"When did we all turn into Gladys Kravitz from 'Bewitched'?"

"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...

"Cub Driver" wrote in message
...
|
| Well, compared to the $50 million Congress just approved to build a
RAIN
| FOREST here in Iowa City, Iowa
|
| It should do wonders for the motel business, Jay.
|
| I mean, who'd want to see a rain forest in Louisiana or even worse
| Guatamala? Too hot and sticky.
|

I live near Seattle. My house is within an hour's drive of one of the most

IIUC, the one in Washington state is the ONLY true rain forest in the world
(by some strict definition of "rain forest" as opposed to "jungle", which is
something else entirely.

| I mean, who'd want to see a rain forest in Louisiana or even worse
| Guatamala? Too hot and sticky.
|

I live near Seattle. My house is within an hour's drive of one of the most
dense rain forests in the world. Not all rain forests are in the tropics.

Well, who wants to see a rain forest in Washington State? Too rainy!

The ideal would be a rain forest in Arizona. Then we could go to see
it in the winter.

all the best -- Dan Ford
email:

see the Warbird's Forum at www.warbirdforum.com
and the Piper Cub Forum at www.pipercubforum.com

The bank sent me a past due notice for the difference, which I paid the
next
day. It took 8 months to get the excess back from the IRS.

Well, Don, I can top that. As some of you know, as an employer, I must pay
employee withholding (Medicare/Medicaid and Federal) tax, known as "941
Tax."

The form you use to pay this monthly tax is the identical form you use to
pay FUTA (Federal Unemployment) tax, also known as "940 Tax.".

Both types of tax are paid at your bank -- NOT to the IRS -- using the same
form.

When I was pretty new to this whole charade, in my first business (back in
the late '80s), I accidentally checked the "940" box instead of the "941"
box. No one said anything at the bank, and I, of course, didn't notice....

....until I got a very stern warning letter from the IRS, stating that they
were going to repossess everything in my universe if I didn't pay the
employee's withholding tax, pronto!

Needless to say, I was dumb-founded, as I *knew* I had paid the tax. It
was only after checking the IRS's records that we discovered a HUGE "credit"
in our unemployment tax account, and an identical "shortfall" in our
"employee withholding" account. Duh.

Now, mind you, this is the same IRS, no matter how you slice the pie. All
they had to do to fix the problem was make a note of the error, and move
"Dollar A" from "Account 1" to "Account 2." Simple, right? Any first year
accounting student could fix this, right?

NOT. It took six MONTHS to get corrected... :-(

I finally had to speak with "Mabel," an elderly black woman in Kansas City
(probably the ONLY person in the IRS who knows how to actually do anything),
who was able to fix the problem in the blink of an eye. (I suspect our
entire government is run this way -- there's probably one or two old black
women in an office somewhere, patiently fixing all the stupid bureaucratic
errors that everyone racks up...)

And don't even get me STARTED on Iowa's famously mis-named "Workforce
Development" unemployment agency... :-(
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"