Pilot/Mech Organizations

Hai,
Nope not AIDS this time, it's much worse . I guess I will head to GA when
we get the ball rolling good and the lawyer says I can leave. Why an
aviation group...I think Jay had the ticket there. Aviation people tend to
talk aviation...and most time talking about something other than your
problem relaxes your mind for just awhile. Man oh man does mind need
relaxing! HAHA

Patrick
student SP
aircraft structural mech

"Longworth" wrote in message
oups.com...

Patrick,

Having witnessed the painful divorces of a sister and a brother,
I can understand that you are going through a terrible time.

Others have offered you some great advices especially the part
about staying busy. I just want to tell you my reaction in reading
your post which may give some insights. My thought was that why the
heck that you want to find an aviation support group for personal
problems unless it was an AIDS (Aviation Induced Divorced Symdrome)
case? Sometimes people grow apart in their marriages developing
separate interests to the point that they have nothing in common. This
could lead to separation or even divorces but probably no worse off
than staying together. I have witnessed happily married couples with
totally different hobbies but they usually share some other interests
be it in their children/grand children or home improvements.

If there are no chance of reconcilattion, getting back together
for a fresh start with both sides trying, One just have accept the
situation, doing the best to cope with it then move on. Time is the
best healer. Do try to watch your mental health and don't sink into a
depression. Seek medical help if needed.

Good luck with your recovery.

Hai Longworth

W P Dixon wrote:

My wife left a week ago Saturday and my world has crashed upon me so to
speak. Just wondering what kind of help is out there for a crippled old
mech
sport pilot in the process person ! ; )

Been there and eventually it worked out fabulously; hope it does likewise
for you.


--
Matt

---------------------
Matthew W. Barrow
Site-Fill Homes, LLC.
Montrose, CO

"W P Dixon" wrote in message
I was curious if anyone knows of any groups that try to help out
pilots/mechs with divorce , homeless or other areas?

That group would be ... other pilots and mechanics. Hanging at the
airport talking with like-minded ilk would be my therapy of choice. Then I
would go fishing.

My wife left a week ago Saturday and my world has crashed upon me so to
speak. Just wondering what kind of help is out there for a crippled old
mech
sport pilot in the process person ! ; )

F**k her!!!! You don't need anyone but yourself to be happy. Don't let her
control your life.

D.

PS- Some divorce lawyers will play on your emotions, and hers, to run up
their bill. Pay a good lawyer what s/he is worth but keep emotions out of
it.

Not sure about you, but I, like many other pilots am not really a
"group" person. Many groups end up rehashing over and over the details
of their individual experiences. Essentially wallowing in their
collective misery. The fact is that two people in a relationship are
individuals who each have a free will to make decisions. As long as
both have the relationship as a priority, it will survive. If one no
longer values the relationship, it can not continue, no matter how
badly the other wants it to. That's one of those hard facts of life
that's so frustrating. We only have the ability to change our half of
the equation. If the relationship is beyond salvaging, it's time to
decide if we want to be defeated or strengthened by the experience. It
wasn't easy for me. A few years later there are still ocassional stabs
of frustration at what happened, but I'm a better person and I
appreciate what I have a lot more.
--
Gene Seibel
Gene & Sue's Flying Machine - http://pad39a.com/gene/
Because we fly, we envy no one.

Gene Seibel wrote:
Not sure about you, but I, like many other pilots am not really a
"group" person. Many groups end up rehashing over and over the details
of their individual experiences. Essentially wallowing in their
collective misery. The fact is that two people in a relationship are
individuals who each have a free will to make decisions. As long as
both have the relationship as a priority, it will survive. If one no
longer values the relationship, it can not continue, no matter how
badly the other wants it to.


I'll tell you what I know about marriage, straight out of Sociology 101: men
and women approach marriage and relationships differently. A man will assume
that everything is hunky dory unless he's actively being bitched at. He only
thinks about the relationship when there are obvious problems. A woman, on the
other hand, reexamines the relationship *every* day, whether things are good or
not. Every day. So what happens? The woman is unhappy but keeps it to herself
until she's sure she wants out. Then she says she wants a divorce and the guy
is left scratching his head wondering what the hell happened.

Been there, done that. My own marriage went that way. I was clueless when it
happened. When I sat in class and listened to the instructor describing this
scenario, I thought he was talking about me. And he was... and every other poor
schmuck who gets dumped. The pain is worse because it comes from nowhere like a
bolt from the blue, at least for men.

As an aside, I ended up later taking Marriage and the Family as an easy
elective. Only those students who had been married got As. More to the point,
all of us who got As also were divorced.

One other thing worth noting about relationships: if you reduce it to a power
struggle, the partner who cares the least wields the most power. Think about
it.



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN

VE

Mortimer Schnerd, RN wrote:

As an aside, I ended up later taking Marriage and the Family as an easy
elective. Only those students who had been married got As. More to the point,
all of us who got As also were divorced.

So why is the success rate of second and subsequent marriages even lower
than first marriages?

Matt

Matt Whiting wrote:
Mortimer Schnerd, RN wrote:

As an aside, I ended up later taking Marriage and the Family as an easy
elective. Only those students who had been married got As. More to the
point, all of us who got As also were divorced.

So why is the success rate of second and subsequent marriages even lower
than first marriages?


Because women are involved? Personally, I decided I'd rather be alone and have
learned to thrive on it. I don't have to compromise: everything is on *my*
schedule and to my taste. I buy toys when *I* want them (and as I can afford
them. There's a lot to be said for being a selfish *******.

As for sleeping alone, I got a dog. She doesn't mind if I fart in bed.

I can absolutely guarantee if I were remarried, money wouldn't be available for
me to fly.

Men and women go into marriages looking for different things. With men, it's
sex and companionship. With women, it's primarily for security (financial and
otherwise). I used to be shocked listening to my female coworkers describing
their husbands but no longer. I love women; I enjoy working with them and I
enjoy talking to them. I just wouldn't want to be tied to one. YMMV. We are
what we are and they are what they are. Don't be surprised when a marriage
fails; be surprised when one succeeds.



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN

VE

Matt Whiting wrote:

So why is the success rate of second and subsequent marriages even lower
than first marriages?

The pool of people that can enter into second marraiges have a track record of
failure. They blew it once, it's not surprising that most of them can blow it again.

George Patterson
Coffee is only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to
your slightly older self.

("Mortimer Schnerd, RN" wrote)
[snip]
Men and women go into marriages looking for different things. With men,
it's sex and companionship. With women, it's primarily for security
(financial and otherwise). I used to be shocked listening to my female
coworkers describing their husbands but no longer. I love women; I enjoy
working with them and I enjoy talking to them. I just wouldn't want to be
tied to one. YMMV. We are what we are and they are what they are. Don't
be surprised when a marriage fails; be surprised when one succeeds.


There are times when I want my gal to be a buddy, and treat her as such -
with poor results, while she's waiting for me to act like her girlfriend -
and is "hurt" when I don't do or say the right thing. This is when things
usually go south.


Montblack

Mortimer Schnerd, RN wrote:

Matt Whiting wrote:

Mortimer Schnerd, RN wrote:


As an aside, I ended up later taking Marriage and the Family as an easy
elective. Only those students who had been married got As. More to the
point, all of us who got As also were divorced.

So why is the success rate of second and subsequent marriages even lower
than first marriages?



Because women are involved? Personally, I decided I'd rather be alone and have
learned to thrive on it. I don't have to compromise: everything is on *my*
schedule and to my taste. I buy toys when *I* want them (and as I can afford
them. There's a lot to be said for being a selfish *******.

As for sleeping alone, I got a dog. She doesn't mind if I fart in bed.

I can absolutely guarantee if I were remarried, money wouldn't be available for
me to fly.

Men and women go into marriages looking for different things. With men, it's
sex and companionship. With women, it's primarily for security (financial and
otherwise). I used to be shocked listening to my female coworkers describing
their husbands but no longer. I love women; I enjoy working with them and I
enjoy talking to them. I just wouldn't want to be tied to one. YMMV. We are
what we are and they are what they are. Don't be surprised when a marriage
fails; be surprised when one succeeds.

Well, mine is 23 years strong and I expect it to be my only one. My
family has a long history of 50+ year marriages, mostly terminated by
death. You have made the right choice for you, because, as you
indicate, selfishness and marriage don't mix. If only everyone would
understand that and make the choice before they get married the first
time. :-)

Matt