Who do you call?

I have two questions about who do you call when ...

I was talking with a police officer the other day. We were talking about
planes and police work and blah blah blah. Then he says, "I saw some guy
buzzing the neighborhood the other day. I got the tail number and I would
have reported him but I didn't know who to call." I would think that all
police have a hotlist of phone numbers - FBI, DEA, etc. I would think that
the FAA would be on this list. But I guess not. My problem was, I didn't
know what to tell him. The only thing I could think of was FSS. I figured
they would at least be able to re-direct the call. Does the FAA have special
emergency contact numbers for this sort of thing?

My other question is related to my own problems. Let's say that I have
landing gear trouble at night, out in the middle of nowhere. There may be
country airports nearby but nothing that is open. Even if I could get Flight
Service or a center controller on the radio would they know who to call to
bring fire and rescue to airport lost-in-the-woods, Middle, America? Yes,
I'm sure the right answer is to head to a bigger airport that is open. Work
with me here. I'm just curious. Does Flight Service or controllers have
emergency contact numbers for all of the airports near their sectors?

--
Travis