Iowa State Fair PIREP

Today promised to be the quality weather day to attend the (usually
blisteringly hot) Iowa State Fair, held annually in Des Moines, Iowa. The
weather was in the 80s, but the humidity was low and a broken cloud cover
promised to keep the UV exposure down -- so it was off the fair for the
Honeck tribe.

As many of you know, this is one of THE best state fairs to attend, with
literally thousands of participants, displaying everything from monster
trucks to champion rabbits. (I'm not kidding!) It's a veritable
smorgasbord of events, concerts, rides, and animals, and the kids absolutely
love it.

We started our day with a quick stop at the inn, to pick up the Mighty Grape
so that we could refuel Atlas before the 55 minute flight over to DSM. As
we pulled in the drive, however, we both immediately spotted two squad cars,
and our night manager out talking to them.

Strolling over to see what was happening, the first squad car pulled away
with a woman in the back seat, clearly unhappy. Turned out this woman --
who was mentally unstable and known to the local gendarmes as a nut case --
had actually *attacked* her mother while they were both staying at the inn
last night.

Of all the crazy things, they were both in one of our HONEYMOON suites (we
don't ask *why* people want what they want at check-in...perhaps that's a
question I need to ask to the check-in procedure?), and for reasons known
only to the nut-case, she decided to punch out her mom this morning -- or
something like that.

Shrugging our shoulders at the bizarre nature of the hotel business (and of
humans in general), we headed off to the airport, wondering what could
possibly possess someone to attack their own mother...

Luckily, that was the only crazy occurrence of the day, and the flight to
Des Moines was bumpy (under a 4000 foot broken layer of cumulus clouds) but
uneventful. Mary pulled off a nice squeaker on Rwy 23, and we rolled into
Elliott Aviation right at noon.

The personnel at Elliott were very friendly and welcoming, our rental car
was ready for us, and we were soon on our way to the fair....

.....where we discovered that the rest of Iowa was *also* in attendance.
With all public parking lots full, we allowed ourselves to be directed onto
the front lawn of a nearby home, where the owner/entrepreneur was realizing
a tidy profit from his proximity to the State Fair Park.

The fair itself was outstanding, as always, with fantastic food (a pork
tenderloin -- what else, in Iowa? -- the size of a hub-cap was to die for),
vendors, displays, music, and (of course) animals. Lots of animals.

Our 11-year-old daughter is just nuts about farm animals, for some reason
(our family got out of farming over 125 years ago, so she knows zip about
how hard raising those animals really is), and the high point of her year is
when she gets to drag us through the giant exhibition halls to gaze in
wonder at pigs that weigh over 1000 pounds.

Now, personally, I think one bull looks pretty much like any other, and
miniature horses don't carry a lot of thrill for me, but she is just in
heaven, so we dutifully walk for hours amongst the sweet-smelling stables
and dusty barns.

The competitive riding competitions are one of her favorite things, and we
always try to catch some of them. It really is amazing how those riders
can make a gigantic horse prance sideways, or backwards, or rear, just with
a few subtle physical commands.

After seeing rabbits the size of pigs, and horses the size of dogs, and
ostriches that you could ride, it was time to start snacking our way through
the grounds, and we hit the food vendors with a vengeance.

Chocolate praline fudge? Check. Cotton candy? Check. Deep fried
Twinkies? Got 'em. Corn dogs and deep-fried cheese? You betcha. It was
a gastronomic catastrophe, with a coronary occlusion on the side, but, wow,
you've just got to do that once a year!

Finally, our feet felt like two days at Oshkosh, and even our daughter
admitted that champion boars were pretty dull (they never, *ever* move.
They just lay there like they've been tranquilized, which, I suppose, is all
they CAN do at their weight...), and the sun was heading West, so we decided
to head back to the car.

Meanwhile, in the grandstand area the "Unlimited tractor pulls" were
underway, which meant that tractors with Allison V-1710 engines (like on a
P-38 lighting) were running 3000 horsepower through straight pipes in order
to pull an increasing weight as far as possible. The noise was
paralyzingly loud, and (being gearheads at heart) we just loved it!
Although we were too cheap to pay to see them, the sound was thrill
enough....

At last, we were back at the airport, where the overcast that had settled
over Des Moines was rapidly retreating eastward. Arcing into the
diminishing daylight, into a sky as thick and calm as a bowl of melted
butter, we contentedly droned back to Iowa City, fat, dumb and happy. It
was a marvelous day.

The fair runs through (I think) Sunday. If you want to experience a real
piece of old-fashioned Americana, make a day trip to see it. You won't
regret it!
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"