My first solo - and the worst flight of my life

There are no downsides to getting rid of an instructor of the type you
describe. Get back to enjoying flying. This is not marine boot camp.

Amen and amen! I don't know how old the OP is or if he's doing his flight
training for fun or for a career, but either way you've GOT to enjoy it or
it's pure misery.

I think I'm extremely lucky in haveing a CFI that started out our first
lesson with "You don't NEED your license, so if this stops being fun, why do
it?". From that point on, I've taken that to heart. Makes my learning much
easier and more enjoyable. If what the OP said about his instructor is dead
on, I don't think I would have had the confidence in myself to solo after
that.

Now for the good part....Congrats on the solo!!!!!!!

jf