For Fliers Only

"Alan Dicey"
wrote in message ...
ArtKramr wrote:
Subject: For Fliers Only...

The three most useless things in aviation are
- runway behind you
- altitude above you
- and a tenth of a second ago.

The ORIGINAL third most useless thing was "a field grade bombardier!"

Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was taking
care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about large
airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them if
at all possible!! :-))))
I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened on a
United flight into Philadelphia one night.
Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think and a
new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an older
crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between the
cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker. She
asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack back
at her,
"It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
doesn't work worth a ****"
Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was the
Captain on the flight!
:-))
DH

Now, Dud, that one sounds completely believable. I wonder if the skipper was
able to stop laughing by the time he had to round out. (^-^)))

George Z.

"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as
long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower
where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on
a busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at
some of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at
any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all
he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2
degrees and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find
out if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had
a
trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was
taking
care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about
large
airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them
if
at all possible!! :-))))
I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened
on a
United flight into Philadelphia one night.
Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think
and a
new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an
older
crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between
the
cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker.
She
asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack
back
at her,
"It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
doesn't work worth a ****"
Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was
the
Captain on the flight!
:-))
DH

Now, Dud, that one sounds completely believable. I wonder if the skipper
was
able to stop laughing by the time he had to round out. (^-^)))

George Z.

Knowing this particular Captain (an aerobatic student of mine), he probably
had something going with the stew......or she might have been the one in the
entire organization he had missed!! :-))
D

I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding.

Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
a bit hard to believe.

1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
button, which would block any calls from the pilot.

2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.

vince norris

vincent p. norris wrote:

I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding.

Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
a bit hard to believe.

1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
button, which would block any calls from the pilot.

2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.

vince norris

Precisely correct Vince, my experiences were quite a few years
ago too but my long term memory is crystal clear, all our GCA's
were done on 134.1, and that's all that was done on there, GCA's.

Mind you, I have no idea what I had for breakfast this morning...
(or whether for that matter)
--

-Gord.

"vincent p. norris" wrote in message
...
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero
conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at
any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I
know
because I was right behind him holding.

Dudley, It's a good story, but I'm afraid I find it
a bit hard to believe.

1. In my experience, admittedly years ago, we were instructed not to
roger for further transmissions and to break off the approach if we
failed to hear the controller for about three seconds. Actually, it
sounded like the controller never took his (her) finger off the mike
button, which would block any calls from the pilot.

2. If you were holding, you would be on a different frequency. The
final controller has a channel all his (her) own, for obvious reasons.

vince norris

Your pick up is basically correct. I said final, and it was a bit before
final if I remember it exactly.
Can't speak for the violation of GCA protocols, ( I think it was 5 seconds
no trans- go missed at the time ) but I can certainly assure you that
monitoring other frequencies while stacked in close or holding was common
practice, which was exactly what we were doing on this occasion. I was
working the hold on nav 1 and my right seat was on com 2. (We were a D18
Beech) To be completely exact, most of the discourse we heard did occur in
the early part of his approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second
no trans go missed call by the controller.
But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!
DH

Dudley done wrote:

...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
missed call by the controller.
But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!

I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
anticipated age.


--
Jack

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

"Jack" wrote in message
...
Dudley done wrote:

...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
missed call by the controller.
But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!

I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too.
However,
in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
anticipated age.


--
Jack

It's funny about things like that. It could be that the heavier they get,
the lower their voice gets until at last they reach that perfect scenario of
maximum weight vs maximum sexy voice!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

Jack wrote:

I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
anticipated age.

Or...what's much worse...finding out that their inventory of
equipment has an item or two more than you were comfortable with.
--

-Gord.

Jack wrote:

Dudley done wrote:

...most of the discourse we heard did occur in the early part of his
approach...and that was I believe, before the 5 second no trans go
missed call by the controller.
But she DID sound sexy as hell!!!!

I've met a couple of female controllers who sounded like that, too. However,
in real life they were both many kilos over weight, and years past their
anticipated age.


If you consider those two characteristics to be a problem, I must suspect you
have little experience with such ladies.

You probably have missed a lot.

Bob McKellar, who usually does not bring up "kilos" and "years" as subjects of
proper conversation......


--
Jack

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895