Farting Passenger Forces Plane to Divert Route (Text only)

Paul Elliot wrote:
--Snipped in for the sake of common decency! -

‎Dave


BTDT, you missed out on the technicolor tour with the video camera.
Since mine was just a sigmoidoscopy, I was awake and got to watch the
movie live. Woo Hoo!


You know what ****ed me off, is that they took all kinds of pictures and
had teh movie camera rolling, but the VA told me they don't have the
facilities to give me a copy of the video. I wanted to put it on youtube.

Oh well, the exam was free, so I ain't complaining.

Cheers,

Dave

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:

I wanted to put it on youtube.

Well, it certainly would have been that -- "Hey, dude, dat'sa you tube
in Technicolor and Panavision!"

Or IMAX !! Just like being there!

--
"Jeeps can get up, and jeeps can also go down. Why can't Bill?"

-- Nancy Hughes III

NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
passing gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of
flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and
screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in
an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the
plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the
incident.





It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.



Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other
passengers
try to open the windows.


--
The burning sulphur smell is easily explaned--it was a flight from Hell.
;-)

Peter

On Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:34:56 GMT, §qu@r3 Wh33£s
wrote:

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:


If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
about the
side effects.

Cheers,

Dave

Beautifully written, Dave, and I'm a professional!

Very, very funny, but yes, folks, do have an exam at least yearly. My
best
friend's father did, had cancer, had surgery and chemo and is doing just
fine now, a survivor. In a matter of a few weeks only.

OK, it usually makes guys .. uh .. antsy? .. similar to the Bobbit
Skrunchover .. but just DO IT !!

Sorry they found no probes, BTW -- you could have made a /killing/ on
eBay......


SW


Well, I haven't posted much in this group, but I was just passing
(gas) through and had to comment.

Colonoscopy is recommended every TEN years after 50. It has to do
with how slowly cancers in that area grow. Most insurance companies
aren't going to pay more often than that. As for the procedure, only
the dance with the laxatives the night before is unpleasant. You will
feel absolutely nothing during the procedure (and I felt nothing
after--no gas or anything). When the surgeon said you're clean (I
heard him through that trippy sedated fog) you feel great! No Big C
fer me, thanks!

Sigmoidoscopy is hardly worth it given the much greater coverage of a
colonoscopy. I had exactly one. The device itself is not
painful--you're so greased up they could slide an Airbus 380 in. It's
the damn air they use to keep the colon inflated so that all nooks and
crannies are visible (I watched mine on the monitor). Cramps
almighty--you feel like you could leap tall buildings with the
pressure that builds up. And farting after! You'd think it would all
come out in one long blast, but noooo! You fart and fart for a day
(not smelly since you're cleaned out anyway).

So get your colonoscopies, you big babies over 50! Colon cancer is
one nasty way to die.

Now, a serious question. Airliners are pressurized to about 5000',
right? I wonder if that encourages or discourages farting (the
former, I would think). I know that I have delighted other passengers
on occasion, and wondered where the urge came from. I just hope to be
positioned to spray that annoying little brat seated near me. And his
mother who won't shut him up.

Some doctors will perform the proceedure with only a mild sedative, so you
can watch the monitor (which looks a lot like the uSoft "Maze" screensaver)
through the entire colonoscopy and even ask questions.

OTOH, the gallon of cleaning solution gathered an amazing amount of flavor
after the first 25%. Any attempt at an accurate description would be
scattered though about 100 pages of expaltives...

Peter

"CWO4 Dave Mann" wrote in message
. ..
Paul Elliot wrote:
--Snipped in for the sake of common decency! -

‎Dave


BTDT, you missed out on the technicolor tour with the video camera.
Since mine was just a sigmoidoscopy, I was awake and got to watch the
movie live. Woo Hoo!


You know what ****ed me off, is that they took all kinds of pictures and
had teh movie camera rolling, but the VA told me they don't have the
facilities to give me a copy of the video. I wanted to put it on youtube.

Oh well, the exam was free, so I ain't complaining.

Cheers,

Dave
No Thanks! I don't want to see your poop chute!