****ing off byrd

Alligator Shoes

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a
pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to
pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a
couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came
upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be
the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger
saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the
Marines.

Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both
hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines
dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several
more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Darn, this one
doesn't have any shoes either!"