Building my own Zeppelin

"Ron Wanttaja" wrote in message
...
| On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller" wrote:
|
| "Alberto Panno-Peano" wrote in message
| . com...
| I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize
the
| people.
|
| What do I need ?
|
| You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking
| for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring
for
| the mylar ones, they last longer.
|
| Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of
| good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
easily.

Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000 would
look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery, and
sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.

"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...

"Ron Wanttaja" wrote in message
...
| On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller"
wrote:
|
| "Alberto Panno-Peano" wrote in message
| . com...
| I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize
the
| people.
|
| What do I need ?
|
| You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and
asking
| for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all.
Spring
for
| the mylar ones, they last longer.
|
| Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces
of
| good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
easily.

Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000 would
look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery, and
sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.

Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to make.

"Tarver Engineering" wrote in message
...

"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...

"Ron Wanttaja" wrote in message
...
| On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller"
wrote:
|
| "Alberto Panno-Peano" wrote in message
| . com...
| I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and
terrorize
the
| people.
|
| What do I need ?
|
| You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and
asking
| for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all.
Spring
for
| the mylar ones, they last longer.
|
| Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces
of
| good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
easily.

Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000
would
look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery,
and
sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.

Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to make.

Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.

"Tarver Engineering" wrote in message
...
|
| Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to
make.
|
| Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.

What self respecting egomaniac would locate his mountain fortress in a place
that had no swamps? You need the swamp gas for your hydrogen, plus the swamp
will help protect your mountain fortress with its snakes, insects,
crocodiles, and primitive tribes of cannibals armed with poison darts. The
swamp should also contain at least one extinct species of giant carnivore --
something like a tyrannosaurus rex.

The mountain also provides a free energy source. Since these mountain
fortresses are invariably located inside dormant volcanoes, you can use the
thermal heating for generating electricity and processing your swamp gas. It
is best if the mountain itself also provides you with the various ores you
need, including radium for your radium guns. This also helps guarantee that
all your minions will be mutants.

Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to eat.
The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are not
enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
tropical island archipelago is a good candidate. It is not uncomfortable and
nasty as the arctic, and you can have a subject tribe of peaceful villagers
that do the fishing, handle commerce with the outside world, and generally
put a friendly front on your evil empire. This tribe will also supply
sacrificial virgins for your own entertainment and to keep the volcano from
erupting. Enslaving their children to do your mining is also useful, but
watch out that the peaceful villagers do not attract the attention of the
forces of good before you are ready.

Also, if you do choose a tropical archipelago, you must be very careful not
to attract the attention of powers even stronger and more evil than you are,
such as Cthulhu.

"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...

"Tarver Engineering" wrote in message
...
|
| Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to
make.
|
| Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.

What self respecting egomaniac would locate his mountain fortress in a
place
that had no swamps? You need the swamp gas for your hydrogen, plus the
swamp
will help protect your mountain fortress with its snakes, insects,
crocodiles, and primitive tribes of cannibals armed with poison darts. The
swamp should also contain at least one extinct species of giant
carnivore --
something like a tyrannosaurus rex.

But, water derived hydrogen has the added benifit of LOX. Consider for a
moment the enhanced escape capability of a cyro-engined Zepplin. It would
be as though God had lit off a fart. The forces of good would be in for a
considerable surprise.

The mountain also provides a free energy source. Since these mountain
fortresses are invariably located inside dormant volcanoes, you can use
the
thermal heating for generating electricity and processing your swamp gas.
It
is best if the mountain itself also provides you with the various ores you
need, including radium for your radium guns. This also helps guarantee
that
all your minions will be mutants.

An army of mutants and a fleet of zeppelins. Yes, of course, I can see
where you are going now.

Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to eat.
The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are not
enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.

I believe I can see the movie already!

It is not uncomfortable and
nasty as the arctic, and you can have a subject tribe of peaceful
villagers
that do the fishing, handle commerce with the outside world, and generally
put a friendly front on your evil empire. This tribe will also supply
sacrificial virgins for your own entertainment and to keep the volcano
from
erupting. Enslaving their children to do your mining is also useful, but
watch out that the peaceful villagers do not attract the attention of the
forces of good before you are ready.

The virgins would of course be sacrificed to yourself and me, to thank us
for "the plan".

Also, if you do choose a tropical archipelago, you must be very careful
not
to attract the attention of powers even stronger and more evil than you
are,
such as Cthulhu.

What about Dr. Evil?

Yeah....I think all of you have been processing a little too much swamp gas!

Eric Miller wrote:

You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking for
18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for the
mylar ones, they last longer.

Ron Wanttaja replied:

Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of good
will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too easily.

Actually, it's the aluminization of the Mylar(tm) that increases the radar
signature, so if you can get clear Mylar(tm) balloons, you should be ok. Yet
another example where aluminization of the aircraft structure is a Bad Idea. :-)

Russell Kent

"Tarver Engineering" wrote in message
...
|
| Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
eat.
| The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
not
| enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
| tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
|
| I believe I can see the movie already!
|

This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

Some trolls are just too much fun not to feed.
Hank J
"Morgans" wrote in message
...

"Harry O" wrote: Nothing worth while.

Please, don't feed the trolls.






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On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 14:39:15 -0800, "C J Campbell"
wrote:

"Tarver Engineering" wrote in message
...
|
| Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
eat.
| The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
not
| enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
| tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
|
| I believe I can see the movie already!

This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

I think we'll have to be satisfied with the Association of RAH Ilk....

Ron Wanttaja