SSA to Address Debate Over Finish Procedure?

Endeavouring to defuse tensions that flared again recently over which
finish procedure to employ at comps, SSA are rumoured to be considering
a change that could quell the rancor and invective over the two
practises: viz., finish line v. finish ring/cylinder.

As America's gliding overseers are steadfast in taking no formally
sanctioned position on this controversy, the proposed action more
accurately comprises a redefinition, not a procedural change. SSA
earnestly hope that re-labeling the rival options with more
descriptive, less inflammatory terms--ones not yet hurled about like
rallying cries at a football match--will reduce the emotional, almost
primitive responses that erupt each time this contentious subject is
reopened.

To wit, the procedure customarily employing a FINISH LINE shall
henceforth be known as GUIDED APPROACH, reflecting the orderly,
predictable, proven way in which gliders approach a tightly defined
finish line along a narrow glide path, pull up smoothly, and naturally
sequence themselves into the circuit to land.

Likewise, the practise utilising what is commonly referred to as a
FINISH CYLINDER shall be known as RANDOM ARRIVAL, indicative of the
unpredictable courses taken by gliders returning to the airfield at the
conclusion of a task and elbowing their way into the circuit
erratically from different directions, altitudes, and speeds.

Notwithstanding SSA's officially impartial stance, a grizzled Western
spokesperson expressed his view bluntly. "Let's call a spade a spade, I
say. Most o' these bozos can't navigate anyhow--they need a GPS to find
the toilet. So how's they supposed to aim at an invisible cylinder
without being heads down and locked?"

"We seen it before. Some o' the scariest times at comps is trying to
get back on the ground after the CD cancels the day. Same thing happens
after a big cylinder finish. You safety wimps think a crowded gaggle is
bad? [uttering an oath]--you ain't seen nothin' till ya got 20 or 30
gliders comin' in from all directions, every last one of 'em glued to
their little TV screens, then lookin' up for the first time when they's
right on top of the airfield. And all of 'em dead set on landin' by
their trailers!" [breaking wind and uttering another oath]

And from another, somewhat more temperate representative: "A cylinder
full of gliders after a mass finish is like tossing a $100 note on the
floor during the briefing and saying 'go to it.' It's utter chaos,
don't you see?"

"Mind you, I'm not opposed to change. Making use of cylinders at
turnpoints, for example, isn't so dodgy--there's a lot of sky up there.
In fact, I quite like the 'beer can.' I'm referring to turn cylinders
and not lagers, of course."

"But finish cylinders are another matter entirely, being uncommonly
dangerous. I call them 'fear cans' for the sheer terror that their
officially sanctioned mayhem can incite in even the stoutest airman's
heart!"

-------------

GUIDED APPROACH + RANDOM ARRIVAL. SSA plan to seek concurrence from the
U.S.A. Rules Committee although the proposed modification in
nomenclature is purely administrative, requires no Rules change, and
accordingly is not subject to pre-notification. Upon receiving the
blessing of the Rules Committee, it will be put into effect straight
away.

SoarPoint
)

SoarPoint,



So did everyone confuse irony for reality this time?



Or is the whole issue so ridiculous that no one can tell the difference?




Or, in a weird twist of perception, did I confuse reality for irony?



Hmmm?!



Larry





"SoarPoint" wrote in message
oups.com:

Endeavouring to defuse tensions that flared again recently over which
finish procedure to employ at comps, SSA are rumoured to be considering
a change that could quell the rancor and invective over the two
practises: viz., finish line v. finish ring/cylinder.

As America's gliding overseers are steadfast in taking no formally
sanctioned position on this controversy, the proposed action more
accurately comprises a redefinition, not a procedural change. SSA
earnestly hope that re-labeling the rival options with more
descriptive, less inflammatory terms--ones not yet hurled about like
rallying cries at a football match--will reduce the emotional, almost
primitive responses that erupt each time this contentious subject is
reopened.

To wit, the procedure customarily employing a FINISH LINE shall
henceforth be known as GUIDED APPROACH, reflecting the orderly,
predictable, proven way in which gliders approach a tightly defined
finish line along a narrow glide path, pull up smoothly, and naturally
sequence themselves into the circuit to land.

Likewise, the practise utilising what is commonly referred to as a
FINISH CYLINDER shall be known as RANDOM ARRIVAL, indicative of the
unpredictable courses taken by gliders returning to the airfield at the
conclusion of a task and elbowing their way into the circuit
erratically from different directions, altitudes, and speeds.

Notwithstanding SSA's officially impartial stance, a grizzled Western
spokesperson expressed his view bluntly. "Let's call a spade a spade, I
say. Most o' these bozos can't navigate anyhow--they need a GPS to find
the toilet. So how's they supposed to aim at an invisible cylinder
without being heads down and locked?"

"We seen it before. Some o' the scariest times at comps is trying to
get back on the ground after the CD cancels the day. Same thing happens
after a big cylinder finish. You safety wimps think a crowded gaggle is
bad? [uttering an oath]--you ain't seen nothin' till ya got 20 or 30
gliders comin' in from all directions, every last one of 'em glued to
their little TV screens, then lookin' up for the first time when they's
right on top of the airfield. And all of 'em dead set on landin' by
their trailers!" [breaking wind and uttering another oath]

And from another, somewhat more temperate representative: "A cylinder
full of gliders after a mass finish is like tossing a $100 note on the
floor during the briefing and saying 'go to it.' It's utter chaos,
don't you see?"

"Mind you, I'm not opposed to change. Making use of cylinders at
turnpoints, for example, isn't so dodgy--there's a lot of sky up there.
In fact, I quite like the 'beer can.' I'm referring to turn cylinders
and not lagers, of course."

"But finish cylinders are another matter entirely, being uncommonly
dangerous. I call them 'fear cans' for the sheer terror that their
officially sanctioned mayhem can incite in even the stoutest airman's
heart!"

-------------

GUIDED APPROACH + RANDOM ARRIVAL. SSA plan to seek concurrence from the
U.S.A. Rules Committee although the proposed modification in
nomenclature is purely administrative, requires no Rules change, and
accordingly is not subject to pre-notification. Upon receiving the
blessing of the Rules Committee, it will be put into effect straight
away.

SoarPoint
)