American joke on the Brits

I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around. The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around.
The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF
around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.

And you wonder how the good ole' U.S. of A. came up with Garrison Keillor ?
:-)



Richard.

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around.
The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF
around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer


Then there's the story of the old English pub, somewhere in Norfolk, near a
US airbase.

Three old locals are sat outside drinking their beer when up roars a jeep
with some US Air Force officers aboard.

As they climb out of the jeep to go into the pub, one of the officers turns
to the others and says "watch this you guys - I'll show you how dumb these
Brits are"

He goes up to the old guys and produces a crumpled 1 pound note and shiny
new half-crown coin.

He says to one of the Brits - "Hi old timer - let me buy you a drink - which
of these would you prefer - a crumpled old note - or a shiny new coin ?".

The old timer takes the coin and says "Why thankee sir, I'll take the coin
and get my friends a beer"

The US officers go into the pub laughing at the stupidity of the
Brits................

One of the old timers turns to the man with the coin and says " 'ere, why
didn't you take the 1 pound note ? ".

The other old fella replies - "Don't be daft - if I did that he'd stop doing
it every time he comes here !"

Ken Duffey

And of course the one we told about the the yankss, " Overpaid, Over sexed
and whats worse Over here!".

Myc


"Ken Duffey" wrote in message
...
"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around.
The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF
around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer


Then there's the story of the old English pub, somewhere in Norfolk, near
a
US airbase.

Three old locals are sat outside drinking their beer when up roars a jeep
with some US Air Force officers aboard.

As they climb out of the jeep to go into the pub, one of the officers
turns
to the others and says "watch this you guys - I'll show you how dumb these
Brits are"

He goes up to the old guys and produces a crumpled 1 pound note and shiny
new half-crown coin.

He says to one of the Brits - "Hi old timer - let me buy you a drink -
which
of these would you prefer - a crumpled old note - or a shiny new coin ?".

The old timer takes the coin and says "Why thankee sir, I'll take the coin
and get my friends a beer"

The US officers go into the pub laughing at the stupidity of the
Brits................

One of the old timers turns to the man with the coin and says " 'ere, why
didn't you take the 1 pound note ? ".

The other old fella replies - "Don't be daft - if I did that he'd stop
doing
it every time he comes here !"

Ken Duffey

And of course the one we told about the the yankss, " Overpaid, Over sexed
and whats worse Over here!".

Myc


To which the response was "you are just jealous 'cause you are underpaid, under
sexed and under Eisenhower."

Dan, U. S. Air Force, retired

Subject: American joke on the Brits
From: "Ken Duffey"
Date: 7/23/03 11:48 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id:

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around.
The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF
around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer


Then there's the story of the old English pub, somewhere in Norfolk, near a
US airbase.

Three old locals are sat outside drinking their beer when up roars a jeep
with some US Air Force officers aboard.

As they climb out of the jeep to go into the pub, one of the officers turns
to the others and says "watch this you guys - I'll show you how dumb these
Brits are"

He goes up to the old guys and produces a crumpled 1 pound note and shiny
new half-crown coin.

He says to one of the Brits - "Hi old timer - let me buy you a drink - which
of these would you prefer - a crumpled old note - or a shiny new coin ?".

The old timer takes the coin and says "Why thankee sir, I'll take the coin
and get my friends a beer"

The US officers go into the pub laughing at the stupidity of the
Brits................

One of the old timers turns to the man with the coin and says " 'ere, why
didn't you take the 1 pound note ? ".

The other old fella replies - "Don't be daft - if I did that he'd stop doing
it every time he comes here !"

Ken Duffey




Then there was that famous cartoon in the TIMES. It showed a big strapping
American GI talking to a little older Englishman with a walrus moustache. They
are looking at one of the little English railroad cars. The American is saying
wirh contempt, " Do you know what we would do with that litte car in
America?'" The little Englishman replies, " Well if you wouldn't smoke it,
chew it or love it I don't what you would do with it. That was publiished
around the world and became the by word of the Brit attitude toward the yanks.
Great cartoon.

Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

"Ken Duffey" wrote in message

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went
around. The best time and place to tell it was in an English pub
with lots of RAF around. The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer


Then there's the story of the old English pub, somewhere in Norfolk,
near a US airbase.

Three old locals are sat outside drinking their beer when up roars a
jeep with some US Air Force officers aboard.

As they climb out of the jeep to go into the pub, one of the officers
turns to the others and says "watch this you guys - I'll show you how
dumb these Brits are"

He goes up to the old guys and produces a crumpled 1 pound note and
shiny new half-crown coin.

He says to one of the Brits - "Hi old timer - let me buy you a drink
- which of these would you prefer - a crumpled old note - or a shiny
new coin ?".

The old timer takes the coin and says "Why thankee sir, I'll take the
coin and get my friends a beer"

The US officers go into the pub laughing at the stupidity of the
Brits................

One of the old timers turns to the man with the coin and says " 'ere,
why didn't you take the 1 pound note ? ".

The other old fella replies - "Don't be daft - if I did that he'd
stop doing it every time he comes here !"

Ken Duffey

Have at you! There's this old chestnut:

Did you hear the last colo(u)r television factory in England closed
recently?

Yes, it's rather sad. They had to quit manufacturing them. They couldn't
figure out how to make them leak oil.

:-)

--
http://www.delversdungeon.dragonsfoot.org
Remove the X's in my email address to respond.
"Damn you Silvey, and your endless fortunes." - Stephen Weir
I hate furries.

"Bill Silvey" wrote in message
news:2ZaUa.16546There's this old chestnut:

bijou snipette

Did you hear the last colo(u)r television factory in England closed
recently?

Yes, it's rather sad. They had to quit manufacturing them. They
couldn't
figure out how to make them leak oil.

FWIW
File under 'useless' information.

Now, it may come as a surprise Bill, but back in the 1960s one UK factory
had devised an oil leaking TV ....... true. The company's name was Murphy
who produced a range of TVs which had better than the then avearge of
picture quality. A lot of this was down to the type of line output
transformer they used. It was oil cooled and yes, you guessed it ..........
they sometimes DID leak !!
~=~
John Ding (UK)

On 23 Jul 2003 21:10:30 GMT, (ArtKramr) wrote:

I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around. The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

I don't get it.

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

Subject: American joke on the Brits
From: Blair Maynard
Date: 7/24/03 9:46 AM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id:

On 23 Jul 2003 21:10:30 GMT, (ArtKramr) wrote:

I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around. The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF
around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

I don't get it.

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.


RAF. Air operations. We shot 50 caliber. Get it now? (sigh)

Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer