Merry Christmas to RAH Crowd

"Orval Fairbairn" wrote

Remember -- every time somebody says, "Happy Holidays", an elf dies!

Or elf what? :-)
--
Jim in NC

On Thu, 22 Dec 2005 23:27:42 -0500, "Morgans" wrote:


"Orval Fairbairn" wrote

Remember -- every time somebody says, "Happy Holidays", an elf dies!

Or elf what? :-)

Reminds me of where I used to work, three years ago. It was a woo-woo high-tech
dot com (now another dot gone) in a snazzy office tower. The main entry on the
ground floor had a two-story foyer, which was open to our second-story office
area. Somehow, it ended up with killer acoustics. Our office
manager/entertainment director capitalized on this...she had musicians and
singers come in and set up in the lobby, and you could hear it perfectly just by
leaning on rail to our office area. She once had an operatic friend come in to
perform, and even for those who didn't care for the classics, it was a real cool
show.

Unfortunately, we didn't own the building and didn't control what happened in
the foyer. Once a year, at Christmas time, one of the other offices in the
building would set up there for a huge chess tournament. These guys were
raucous! They'd yell and insult each other, and brag on how much they'd beat
their last opponent, and it would echo all through our office area.

It was pretty ugly. There's really nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an
open foyer.....

Ron "Gud Yule" Wanttaja

"Ron Wanttaja" wrote

It was pretty ugly. There's really nothing worse than chess nuts boasting
in an
open foyer.....

That's so baaaad! g

You ought to write a book, or somethin'. Humor like that just might sell,
better than something on....airplanes? bfg
--
Jim in NC

That reminds me of the story of a head priest, in fact he was a prior, and
he used to give stirring sermons in his church.

He had a great following of parishioners and one in particular became a
great fan of his who followed his every move.

The prior developed a heart condition and would die without a transplant, so
his greatest fan volunteered his own heart so the prior might live.

I guess that the moral of the story is "out of the prying fan into the
prior"


regards

Ian


It was pretty ugly. There's really nothing worse than chess nuts boasting
in an
open foyer.....

Which reminds me of the story of the armless man that applied for the job of
bellringer at the church. THe priest asked how he intended to pull the bell
ropes. THe man replied that he wasn't going to use ropes, just bash the
bells with his head. Sure enough, the bells had the most melodious tone
when struck this way.

One Sunday, in a fit of exuberance, the bellringer took aim at a bell,
missed it by a foot, and tumbled out of the belltower. THe crowd gathered
around and asked who this man was. The priest said, "I don't know his
name, but his face sure rings a bell."



THe next day, the bellringer's brother applied for the (now vacant) job.
Same story, same results, same crowd, same question. THis time the priest
said, "I don't know his name, but he is a dead ringer for his brother."


Jim


"Ian Donaldson" wrote in message
...
That reminds me of the story of a head priest, in fact he was a prior, and
he used to give stirring sermons in his church.

On Fri, 23 Dec 2005 08:07:15 -0800, "RST Engineering"
wrote:


THe next day, the bellringer's brother applied for the (now vacant) job.
Same story, same results, same crowd, same question. THis time the priest
said, "I don't know his name, but he is a dead ringer for his brother."


Jim

Two men were sitting in their boat under a pier fishing. They heard
measured footsteps above them sort of
like someone was carefully stepping on each board. This continued to
the end and a small boy came tumbling into the water. They hurriedly
rowed over and pulled him spluttering from the water and asked him why
he had done that. He replied " I guess that shows when you're out of
slats, you're out of pier."

Unfortunately, we didn't own the building and didn't control what happened in
the foyer. Once a year, at Christmas time, one of the other offices in the
building would set up there for a huge chess tournament. These guys were
raucous! They'd yell and insult each other, and brag on how much they'd beat
their last opponent, and it would echo all through our office area.

It was pretty ugly. There's really nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an
open foyer.....

Ron "Gud Yule" Wanttaja

I can't come close to topping this groaner but maybe you'll like this one.


Preacher's Story
----------------

A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a
fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in
the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was
so steep that the preacher ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured,
however, that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in
the races. To his surprise, in the first race, his donkey came in
second.
The next day the paper read

PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.

The preacher was so pleased that he entered the donkey in another
race. This time, it won, and the paper read

PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read

BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid
of the animal. The preacher, being a charitable chap, gave it to a nun
in a nearby convent. The headline the next day said

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted! He told the nun that she would have to dispose of
the donkey, and she finally found a farmer who would take it off her
hands for ten dollars. The paper said

NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS

They buried the Bishop the next day ...

"Ed Sullivan" wrote

He replied " I guess that shows when you're out of
slats, you're out of pier."


great big chuckle

I think you have to remember the commercial, to get that one. I'll bet
there are many here that have no idea what that is a play on! g
--
Jim in NC

"Morgans" wrote in message ...

"Ed Sullivan" wrote

He replied " I guess that shows when you're out of
slats, you're out of pier."


great big chuckle

I think you have to remember the commercial, to get that one. I'll bet
there are many here that have no idea what that is a play on! g
--
Jim in NC


Blatz beer............ IIRC.....

"Richard Riley" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 24 Dec 2005 01:20:24 GMT, "Don Lewis n FTW"
wrote:

: I think you have to remember the commercial, to get that one. I'll bet
: there are many here that have no idea what that is a play on! g
: --
: Jim in NC
:
:
:Blatz beer............ IIRC.....
:
Schlitz.

I think you are both right.

I recall it being Blatz, then Blatz being bought out by Schlitz, so they
used the jingle for a while. I used to own many shares of stock in both of
those companies. I bought about 12 shares, almost every night! g

Shudder!!!
--
Jim in NC