Airline Pilots; Attn: MX

This missive come from a retired Captain friend:


An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's
flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what
it thinks about dogs.
*
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a co-pilot is a
co-pilot who once was a captain.
*
Hand-flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the
shower controls in a layover hotel.
*
A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your own
sister.
*
MX: Please note!



Most airline crew food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's
what it is.
*
Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes
wrong....then one pilot gets all the blame.
*
A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

MX: Please note!

Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other
procedures used every day and recite from memory those needed once every
five years.
*
A crew scheduler is the type who wakes his wife at midnight to carry out
the garbage, then sends her back to let the cat in.
*
An FAA investigation is conducted by non-flying experts who take six
months to itemize the mistakes made by a crew that had six seconds to do
anything.
*
In the old days flying was dangerous and sex was safe. Now it's the
other way around.