American joke on the Brits

In article , BlairMaynard wrote:

On 23 Jul 2003 21:10:30 GMT, (ArtKramr) wrote:

I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around. The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.

I don't get it.

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

..303 is actually a .311 bullet
..30 caliber is actually a .308 bullet
so it doesn't make sense from that perspective

but it does make sense if you recall that US aircraft used .50's

--
Harry Andreas
Engineering raconteur

In message , ArtKramr
writes
Subject: American joke on the Brits
From: Blair Maynard
I don't get it.

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

RAF. Air operations. We shot 50 caliber. Get it now? (sigh)

Yeah, but we went to 20mm where it mattered...

--
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
W S Churchill

Paul J. Adam

Or perhaps a joke shared ?
~=~
John Ding (UK)

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from
several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had
finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The
train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train,
looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed
middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary
soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and
said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you
see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after
another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing
the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?
I'm very tired."

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not
only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the
little dog tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the
empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her
and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know,
sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong
thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your
autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the
wrong bitch out the window."

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.



RAF. Air operations. We shot 50 caliber. Get it now? (sigh)


Hi Art

The British (and other Commonwealth air forces) shot .50 caliber as
well. Not only with American-built aircraft but also with Avro
Lancasters that had the .303 machine guns replaced.

Cheers...Chris

(Harry Andreas) wrote:

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

.303 is actually a .311 bullet
.30 caliber is actually a .308 bullet
so it doesn't make sense from that perspective


C'mon Harry, you can do a better comparison between these two
rounds than that. Hell, that's like comparing the cartridge
primers.

The 30-06 is twice the round that the .303 is isn't it now?. I've
fired thousands of each and there's no comparison at all.
--

-Gord.

In article ,
"Gord Beaman" ) writes:
(Harry Andreas) wrote:

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

.303 is actually a .311 bullet
.30 caliber is actually a .308 bullet
so it doesn't make sense from that perspective


C'mon Harry, you can do a better comparison between these two
rounds than that. Hell, that's like comparing the cartridge
primers.

The 30-06 is twice the round that the .303 is isn't it now?. I've
fired thousands of each and there's no comparison at all.

I've got almost the full collection of Enfields. (Rifle, SMLE No. 1 Mk
III, Pattern 14, M1917, and Rifle, SMLE, Mk IV), in both .30-06
(M1917), and .303, (The other lot). The biggest problem I have with
the .303 is those danged rims. A Royal (Arms Factory) pain in the
butt. How they made machine guns work with that cartridge has to be
an amazing example of dogged determination.

Odd that you'd mention primers, though. I picked up a case of
ex-Yugoslav .303 (Back before we blew it all up) and they had the
_worst_ primers you'd ever encountered. Pukk the trigger, hear the
click, think "Oh, ****!", and start counting before touching the
bolt (And doing it "One Hippopotamus, Twho Hippopotamus...is a good
idea.) The round would go off somwhere between "One and "otamus". It
wasn't weak primer strikes, either. Wierd, thouh, like firing a
bolt-action flintlock.

--
Pete Stickney
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many
bad measures. -- Daniel Webster

On Thu, 24 Jul 2003 10:25:55 -0700, Steve Hix
wrote:

In article ,
Blair Maynard wrote:

On 23 Jul 2003 21:10:30 GMT, (ArtKramr) wrote:

I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went around. The
best time and place to tell it was in an English pub with lots of RAF around.
The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

I don't get it.

US forces shot 30-06's, pretty much the same caliber as the .303.

Not from most front-line aircraft, at least during most of the war in
which we participated.

But surely by the time the US joined the war, UK front line aircraft
were 20mm armed - all the 8 x .303 fighters had gone IIRC?

In message , av8r
writes
The British (and other Commonwealth air forces) shot .50 caliber
as well. Not only with American-built aircraft but also with Avro
Lancasters that had the .303 machine guns replaced.

Also, the E-winged Spitfire was armed with 2 x 20mm and 2 x .50".

--
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
W S Churchill

Paul J. Adam

"Ken Duffey" wrote in message

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
I remember during the war in England there was a joke that went
around. The best time and place to tell it was in an English pub
with lots of RAF around. The joke went like this:

Eveything in England is smaller.
The cars are smaller.
The trains are smaller.
The rooms are smaller
The houses are smaller.
And they shoot .303's.



Arthur Kramer
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer


Then there's the story of the old English pub, somewhere in Norfolk,
near a US airbase.

Three old locals are sat outside drinking their beer when up roars a
jeep with some US Air Force officers aboard.

As they climb out of the jeep to go into the pub, one of the officers
turns to the others and says "watch this you guys - I'll show you how
dumb these Brits are"

He goes up to the old guys and produces a crumpled 1 pound note and
shiny new half-crown coin.

He says to one of the Brits - "Hi old timer - let me buy you a drink
- which of these would you prefer - a crumpled old note - or a shiny
new coin ?".

The old timer takes the coin and says "Why thankee sir, I'll take the
coin and get my friends a beer"

The US officers go into the pub laughing at the stupidity of the
Brits................

One of the old timers turns to the man with the coin and says " 'ere,
why didn't you take the 1 pound note ? ".

The other old fella replies - "Don't be daft - if I did that he'd
stop doing it every time he comes here !"

Ken Duffey

Have at you! There's this old chestnut:

Did you hear the last colo(u)r television factory in England closed
recently?

Yes, it's rather sad. They had to quit manufacturing them. They couldn't
figure out how to make them leak oil.

:-)

--
http://www.delversdungeon.dragonsfoot.org
Remove the X's in my email address to respond.
"Damn you Silvey, and your endless fortunes." - Stephen Weir
I hate furries.

"Bill Silvey" wrote in message
news:2ZaUa.16546There's this old chestnut:

bijou snipette

Did you hear the last colo(u)r television factory in England closed
recently?

Yes, it's rather sad. They had to quit manufacturing them. They
couldn't
figure out how to make them leak oil.

FWIW
File under 'useless' information.

Now, it may come as a surprise Bill, but back in the 1960s one UK factory
had devised an oil leaking TV ....... true. The company's name was Murphy
who produced a range of TVs which had better than the then avearge of
picture quality. A lot of this was down to the type of line output
transformer they used. It was oil cooled and yes, you guessed it ..........
they sometimes DID leak !!
~=~
John Ding (UK)