It Pays to be a Pilot

Believe it or not, this was my sainted mother's favorite joke. But she told
it about a family of Vermont woodcutters.

Seth

"Jim Burns" wrote in message
...
It Pays To Be A Pilot ........... and don't you forget it.


65 year old man went to the doctor for his Class II drivers exam and the
doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.

The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a pilot and that's why I'm in such good shape.I'm
up well before daylight, climb all over the aircraft doing my pre-flight
inspection, fly all day, etc."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to
it. How old was your dad when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 65 years old and your dad's still alive?
How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 84 yrs old and, in fact, he built and flies his
own airplane! He went flying with me this morning. That's why he's still
alive... he's a pilot too!"

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How
about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean your dad is 84 years old and his father is
still
living?! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "Grandpa is 102 years old and he was a pilot too."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went
flying with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he just
got married and he's on his honeymoon."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married?!! Why would a
102-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?

"Jim Burns" wrote:

It Pays To Be A Pilot ........... and don't you forget it.

An old pilot goes to the doctor, complaining of fatigue. After the
exam, the doctor says, "Well, I can't find a thing wrong with you. For
a man 84 years old, you're in amazingly good health. What about your
love life? Do you and your wife still have sex?"

"Oh, yes," says the old pilot, "about three or four times a week."

"That's wonderful!" says the doctor "How about your.."

"I have a girlfriend, too," says the old pilot.

"Er, really?" says the doctor. "How often do you, uh..."

"About three or four times a week."

"Wow," says the doctor. "Well, you're certainly an exceptional man. And
now..."

"And then there's the widow lady next door," says the old pilot. "I go
comfort her about three or four times a week, too."

"Mister Jones!" says the doctor. "That's beyond what's reasonable for a
man your age. You're going to have to get a grip on yourself!"

Oh, I do," says the old pilot, "about three or four times a week."

It Pays To Be A Pilot ........... and don't you forget it.


65 year old man went to the doctor for his Class II drivers exam and the
doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.

The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a pilot and that's why I'm in such good shape.I'm
up well before daylight, climb all over the aircraft doing my pre-flight
inspection, fly all day, etc."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to
it. How old was your dad when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 65 years old and your dad's still alive?
How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 84 yrs old and, in fact, he built and flies his
own airplane! He went flying with me this morning. That's why he's still
alive... he's a pilot too!"

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How
about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean your dad is 84 years old and his father is
still
living?! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "Grandpa is 102 years old and he was a pilot too."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went
flying with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he just
got married and he's on his honeymoon."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married?!! Why would a
102-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?

In article , says...


Believe it or not, this was my sainted mother's favorite joke. But she told
it about a family of Vermont woodcutters.

Seth



Well, here's a true story from Vermont.
My parents were both doctors - General practitioners and family physicians in
Vermont.One day, an elderly woman in surprisingly good health came in to see
my mom. She said she was 88, and it was the first time she'd ever been to a
doctor. Moreover, she said she didn't have any particular complaint, but she
just felt that at her age she should probably have a regular doctor.

"Well, you've certainly done the right thing," my mom said, "Your condition is
excellent for someone your age. So let's start with some medical history. What
did your parents die of?" The woman replied, "Oh they're fine - still working
the farm just up the road from me..."

End of story - but it's absolutely true!

GF

("G Farris" wrote)
[snip]
"Well, you've certainly done the right thing," my mom said, "Your
condition is
excellent for someone your age. So let's start with some medical history.
What
did your parents die of?" The woman replied, "Oh they're fine - still
working
the farm just up the road from me..."

End of story - but it's absolutely true!


I started working on the truck loading dock at the brewery when I was 21. My
first week loading trucks one of the Teamsters sent me down to get some kegs
from "Stan the keg man." When I came back the Teamster asked me how old I
thought Stan was? I said 35? Maybe 40? (Remember, I was 21).

Stan was 65 and slated to retire at the end of that summer. The Brewmaster
and various plant supervisors all said they lost three guys the day Stan
left.


Montblack

Well get this!

When I was 16 and still at school, this would be about 1976, we used to have
a phys-ed teacher who played basket ball, he was in his eighties and bouced
around like 16 year-old!

He'd certainly would give us a run for our money.

G