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I Won Olympic Gold!



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 12th 06, 02:53 AM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern California Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.


Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very special
olympic tournament.

  #2  
Old November 13th 06, 01:54 AM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern California Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.


Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What Noah transported the
bees in.)


Is this really any of our bees' nest?

  #3  
Old November 13th 06, 02:38 PM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern California Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What Noah transported

the
bees in.)


Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes repeating.


You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start waxing lyrical or
something.

  #4  
Old November 14th 06, 12:45 AM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern California

Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What Noah

transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes repeating.


You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start waxing lyrical or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph cylinder?


I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off. But I will not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?


Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

  #5  
Old November 14th 06, 05:06 AM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very

special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start waxing lyrical

or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph cylinder?


I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off. But I will not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?


Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.


Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something begining with b.

  #6  
Old November 14th 06, 12:10 PM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in

message
ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern

California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and 2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start waxing

lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off. But I will not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.


Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something begining with b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal Compound eye.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics...The_Pink.shtml


I'll drink to that!

  #7  
Old November 15th 06, 01:42 AM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in

message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
message

ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the Northern
California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and

2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been a

very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What

Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes

repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start waxing
lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off. But I will

not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.

Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something begining with b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal Compound eye.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics...The_Pink.shtml


I'll drink to that!

I'm not allowed - yet!


Are u still pickled, you dill?

Had a tiny free sample of Sauvignon-Shiraz in the supermarket yesterday.
First drop of booze I've had since March when I was advised to quit! It was
luvvverly!


How rubbery.

A local chemist years ago did a Medicinal Compound - a cough syrup, with 9%
Morphine in it. It was extremely popular and an aunt of mine used to drink
it straight from the bottle whether she had a cough or not - until I showed
her the list of ingredients. She had a very rough time getting off it too.
So you gotta be careful.


What was it called?

  #8  
Old November 15th 06, 01:24 PM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in

message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
message

ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote

in
message

ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the

Northern
California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2 and
2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have been

a
very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives. (What
Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes
repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start

waxing
lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off. But I

will
not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.

Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something begining with b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal Compound eye.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics...The_Pink.shtml

I'll drink to that!

I'm not allowed - yet!


Are u still pickled, you dill?

Had a tiny free sample of Sauvignon-Shiraz in the supermarket yesterday.
First drop of booze I've had since March when I was advised to quit! It

was
luvvverly!


How rubbery.

A local chemist years ago did a Medicinal Compound - a cough syrup, with

9%
Morphine in it. It was extremely popular and an aunt of mine used to

drink
it straight from the bottle whether she had a cough or not - until I

showed
her the list of ingredients. She had a very rough time getting off it

too.
So you gotta be careful.


What was it called?

Butes' Cough Syrup. It was their own brand.


Wot a strange name.

(They were pretending to be Boots, the big chemist chain.)


They should have called it Butt's Cough Syrup. Might confuse the
suppository lovers though.

A bit like the old monks putting tons of alcohol in their herbal health
drinks, Benedictine, Chartreuse etc. to make sure they sold.


Can you blame them? Nobody would buy the **** otherwise.

  #9  
Old November 16th 06, 02:35 PM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in

message

oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
message

ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote

in
message

ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"

wrote
in
message

ups.com...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold medal in the
Northern
California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament! My team won 3-2

and
2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on, it must have

been
a
very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from his ark hives.

(What
Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees' nest?

To him it must have been the bees' knees so it takes
repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him. He might start
waxing
lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a phonograph

cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax on, wax off.

But I
will
not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.

Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something begining with

b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal Compound eye.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics...The_Pink.shtml

I'll drink to that!

I'm not allowed - yet!

Are u still pickled, you dill?

Had a tiny free sample of Sauvignon-Shiraz in the supermarket

yesterday.
First drop of booze I've had since March when I was advised to quit!

It
was
luvvverly!

How rubbery.

A local chemist years ago did a Medicinal Compound - a cough syrup,

with
9%
Morphine in it. It was extremely popular and an aunt of mine used to
drink
it straight from the bottle whether she had a cough or not - until I
showed
her the list of ingredients. She had a very rough time getting off

it
too.
So you gotta be careful.

What was it called?

Butes' Cough Syrup. It was their own brand.


Wot a strange name.

(They were pretending to be Boots, the big chemist chain.)


They should have called it Butt's Cough Syrup. Might confuse the
suppository lovers though.

A bit like the old monks putting tons of alcohol in their herbal health
drinks, Benedictine, Chartreuse etc. to make sure they sold.


Can you blame them? Nobody would buy the **** otherwise.


Don't be too sure. Benedictine tastes good enough for both Southern Comfort
and Drambuie to pinch the recipé!!!

Like Chartreuse, it's extremly sweet though, so your average big barst . .
sorry, bar-frequenting bloke with big balls between his ears would probably
say they're crap because he thinks they're poofs' drinks, wooden 'T'?!


I'm partial to Frangelica but I wood not touch Irish Mist with my barge
pole.

  #10  
Old November 17th 06, 01:03 PM posted to alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,comp.os.os2.advocacy,rec.aviation.products
Michael Baldwin, Bruce
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 975
Default I Won Olympic Gold!

nemo wrote:
"Mitch Crane" -three wrote in message
...
"honestjohn" wrote in
et:


"Mitch Crane" -three wrote in message
...
"nemo" wrote in
.uk:


"Mitch Crane" -three wrote in message
...
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
ups.com:

nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in message
ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
message
ups.com.
..
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce" wrote in
message
oups
.co m.. .
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"
wrote in message

oup s.c om...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"
wrote in
message

oups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"

wrote in
message

ups.com...
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"
wrote
in
message

ups.com.
..
nemo wrote:
"Michael Baldwin, Bruce"

wrote
in
message

ups.
com ...
Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold
medal
in the
Northern
California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament!
My team won
3-2
and
2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on,
it must have
been
a
very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from
his ark hives.
(What
Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees'
nest?

To him it must have been the bees'
knees
so it ta
kes
repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him.
He might sta
rt
waxing
lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a
phonograph
cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax
on, wax off.
But I
will
not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.

Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something
begining wi
th
b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal
Compound ey
e.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/Lily_The_Pink
.sh tml

I'll drink to that!

I'm not allowed - yet!

Are u still pickled, you dill?

Had a tiny free sample of Sauvignon-Shiraz in the
supermarket
yesterday.
First drop of booze I've had since March when I was
advised to qu
it!
It
was
luvvverly!

How rubbery.

A local chemist years ago did a Medicinal Compound -
a cough syru
p,
with
9%
Morphine in it. It was extremely popular and an aunt
of mine used
to
drink
it straight from the bottle whether she had a cough
or not - unti
l I
showed
her the list of ingredients. She had a very rough
time getting off
it
too.
So you gotta be careful.

What was it called?

Butes' Cough Syrup. It was their own brand.

Wot a strange name.

(They were pretending to be Boots, the big chemist
chain.)

They should have called it Butt's Cough Syrup. Might
confuse the suppository lovers though.

A bit like the old monks putting tons of alcohol in their
herbal heal
th
drinks, Benedictine, Chartreuse etc. to make sure they
sold.

Can you blame them? Nobody would buy the **** otherwise.

Don't be too sure. Benedictine tastes good enough for both
Southern Comfo
rt
and Drambuie to pinch the recipé!!!

Like Chartreuse, it's extremly sweet though, so your average
big barst . . sorry, bar-frequenting bloke with big balls
between his ears would probab
ly
say they're crap because he thinks they're poofs' drinks,
wooden 'T'?!

I'm partial to Frangelica but I wood not touch Irish Mist with
my barge pole.

Filth!

Svygu?

Dhvgr svygul vaqrrq!

You boys don't need to talk with your mouths full of man meat.


What should they be full of then?


Later on, mine will be full of sandwiches of mushrooms fried up with leek
and garlic with a little tomato purée and lime juice stirred in, on
wholemeal bread.


Wot? No meat? Are youz a veggie or sometin?

Umyay umyay!

Knocks your bip chutty into a cocked hat!


 




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