OT - humor (G-rated)

With all the OT stuff on rah lately, I hope you won't mind a little OT
humor. It kinda goes along with all the political rhetoric we've been
having.

Rich S.

************************************************** ******

ORDERING A PIZZA IN 2008

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your National ID
Number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on....eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive,and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you
calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care
provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That would be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets
here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're behind on your car payments, so your car got
repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics."

Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come true...


"Rich S." wrote in message news
With all the OT stuff on rah lately, I hope you won't mind a little OT humor. It kinda goes along with all the
political rhetoric we've been having.

Rich S.

************************************************** ******

ORDERING A PIZZA IN 2008

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your National ID Number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on....eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,and the phone number's 494-2366. Your
office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling
from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made
the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That would be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to
pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're behind on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

"Blueskies" wrote in message
m...
Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come true...

Most of them do.

"C J Campbell" wrote in message ...
"Blueskies" wrote in message
m...
Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come true...

Most of them do.

You mean like the first episode of _The Lone Gunmen_.

--

FF

"Fred the Red Shirt" wrote in message
om...
"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...
"Blueskies" wrote in message
m...
Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come true...

Most of them do.

You mean like the first episode of _The Lone Gunmen_.

Never saw it. Is it any good?

"C J Campbell" wrote in message ...
"Fred the Red Shirt" wrote in message
om...
"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...
"Blueskies" wrote in message
m...
Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come true...

Most of them do.

You mean like the first episode of _The Lone Gunmen_.

Never saw it. Is it any good?

It was a short-lived spinoff of _The X-Files_ broadcast in late
Winter/early Spring of 2001 in the X-Files time slot. The Lone
Gunmen were a trio of geeks who rendered technical assistance
to Mulder and Scully when they had to go outside of official
circles.

The series could have been better but was certainly entertaining
to X-Files fans who were already invested in the characters them-
selves.

The first episode dealt with a plot to crash an airliner into
The World Trade Center.

--

FF

"Fred the Red Shirt" wrote in message
om...
"C J Campbell" wrote in message
...
"Fred the Red Shirt" wrote in message
om...
"C J Campbell" wrote in
message
...
"Blueskies" wrote in message
m...
Sounds about right - more like a sci-fi plot that will come
true...

Most of them do.

You mean like the first episode of _The Lone Gunmen_.

Never saw it. Is it any good?

It was a short-lived spinoff of _The X-Files_ broadcast in late
Winter/early Spring of 2001 in the X-Files time slot. The Lone
Gunmen were a trio of geeks who rendered technical assistance
to Mulder and Scully when they had to go outside of official
circles.

The series could have been better but was certainly entertaining
to X-Files fans who were already invested in the characters them-
selves.

The first episode dealt with a plot to crash an airliner into
The World Trade Center.

Man, I bet there was a writer who wished he was a little less prophetic!