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"You Might be a Crew Chief if..."
http://www.sgtstryker.com/weblog/arc...125.php#004125
1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. 2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge, including church. 3. You've wished your jet would drop a MK-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." 5. You know what a pointy head is. 6. You know what an R&I trailer is. 7. You consider 'moly-b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. 8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. 9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. 10. You've used a grease pencil to "fix" a tire worn beyond limits. 11. You got a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron does 12. You've used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. 13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" 14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. 15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." 16. You've been duct-taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. 17. You've had your headset greased. 18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." 19. You've worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. 20. You've said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." 21. You consider a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. 22. You've ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. 23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. 24. You've ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" 25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. 26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. 27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. 28. You refer to your car's dashboard as the "glareshield" 29. You give your wife an ETIC of when the trash will be taken out. 30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you've been cut back. 31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. 32. You've ever talked to your jet 33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX 34. You can't spell 35. You've ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. 36. You stopped work to watch Jerry Springer 37. Only you can read your hand writting 38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. 39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched 40. You've ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polish your old ones! 41. You've stolen screws from someone else's plane 42. You've washed your hands before you pee. 43. You've ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. 44. You've preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! 45. You've ever been hassled in MPF about 35-10 after a 16 hour shift. 46. You believe your Jet has a soul and it's demonic in origin 47. You talk to your jet 48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. 49. You've ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" 50. You've used a chock as a hammer 51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. 52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. 53. You've purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. 54. You don't know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. 55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer 56. You've looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. 57. You know that you're the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! 58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. 59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist 60. You've ever been ticked off because they can't make up their minds on what the 781's should look like 61. You've wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" 62. You love to be called "Chief" 63. You have ever passed gas in the expeditor truck just to clear it out. 64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. 65. People who are Crew Chiefs and don't want to be sicken you 66. You've shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat 67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. 68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" 69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. 70. You've asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. 71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." 72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. 73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. 74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can't hit the mark when parking a jet suck 75. You know what a "Bite" is. 76. You've ever used a helmet for a pillow. 77. You've stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. 78. You've eaten more MRE's than hot meals. 79. You've ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. 80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. 81. You've used Dykes to trim a fingernail. 82. You've ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw 83. You've ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. 84. You've started a jet inside the hanger 85. You've ever wiped your hands on your pants. 86. You've made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. 87. You've knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. 88. You've wiped leaks right before a crew show. 89. You've picked your nose. 90. You've ever puked more than two days in a row. 91. You've worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. 92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. 93. You hate Crew Chiefs that couldn't hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. 94. You've ever pencil-wipped your 623's. 95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. 96. You've ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights 97. You've ever been that drunk turning on all the lights 98. You've had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. 99. You've driven home and do not remember it. 100. You've ever gone straight to work from the bar. 101. Everyone you know has some sort of nickname. 102. You've ever got off work, rushed home to take a shower and went out to the bar and called it a quick turn. 103. Used the "Pull Chocks" signal to tell your buddies it's time to leave the bar. 104. You've washed your hands with JP-8 after using B 1/2 105. You've rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing 106. You've ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support 107. You know what hydraulic fluid tastes like And now, we'll talk a little about God, more commonly known as the "Crew Chief." And yes, we even have our own G.I. Joe figure, complete with extraneous M-16 (why? I don't know.) I leave you with this mega-list, entitled "You Might be a Crew Chief if..." that I got in the email awhile back: 1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. 2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge, including church. 3. You've wished your jet would drop a MK-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." 5. You know what a pointy head is. 6. You know what an R&I trailer is. 7. You consider 'moly-b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. 8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. 9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. 10. You've used a grease pencil to "fix" a tire worn beyond limits. 11. You got a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron does 12. You've used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. 13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" 14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. 15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." 16. You've been duct-taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. 17. You've had your headset greased. 18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." 19. You've worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. 20. You've said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." 21. You consider a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. 22. You've ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. 23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. 24. You've ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" 25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. 26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. 27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. 28. You refer to your car's dashboard as the "glareshield" 29. You give your wife an ETIC of when the trash will be taken out. 30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you've been cut back. 31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. 32. You've ever talked to your jet 33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX 34. You can't spell 35. You've ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. 36. You stopped work to watch Jerry Springer 37. Only you can read your hand writting 38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. 39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched 40. You've ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polish your old ones! 41. You've stolen screws from someone else's plane 42. You've washed your hands before you pee. 43. You've ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. 44. You've preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! 45. You've ever been hassled in MPF about 35-10 after a 16 hour shift. 46. You believe your Jet has a soul and it's demonic in origin 47. You talk to your jet 48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. 49. You've ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" 50. You've used a chock as a hammer 51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. 52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. 53. You've purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. 54. You don't know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. 55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer 56. You've looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. 57. You know that you're the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! 58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. 59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist 60. You've ever been ticked off because they can't make up their minds on what the 781's should look like 61. You've wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" 62. You love to be called "Chief" 63. You have ever passed gas in the expeditor truck just to clear it out. 64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. 65. People who are Crew Chiefs and don't want to be sicken you 66. You've shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat 67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. 68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" 69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. 70. You've asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. 71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." 72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. 73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. 74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can't hit the mark when parking a jet suck 75. You know what a "Bite" is. 76. You've ever used a helmet for a pillow. 77. You've stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. 78. You've eaten more MRE's than hot meals. 79. You've ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. 80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. 81. You've used Dykes to trim a fingernail. 82. You've ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw 83. You've ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. 84. You've started a jet inside the hanger 85. You've ever wiped your hands on your pants. 86. You've made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. 87. You've knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. 88. You've wiped leaks right before a crew show. 89. You've picked your nose. 90. You've ever puked more than two days in a row. 91. You've worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. 92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. 93. You hate Crew Chiefs that couldn't hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. 94. You've ever pencil-wipped your 623's. 95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. 96. You've ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights 97. You've ever been that drunk turning on all the lights 98. You've had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. 99. You've driven home and do not remember it. 100. You've ever gone straight to work from the bar. 101. Everyone you know has some sort of nickname. 102. You've ever got off work, rushed home to take a shower and went out to the bar and called it a quick turn. 103. Used the "Pull Chocks" signal to tell your buddies it's time to leave the bar. 104. You've washed your hands with JP-8 after using B 1/2 105. You've rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing 106. You've ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support 107. You know what hydraulic fluid tastes like ----- -Jeff B. (who never even worked on aircraft) yeff at erols dot com |
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