I Won Olympic Gold!

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Tim Bruening wrote:
Last Saturday, I won a gold
medal
in the
Northern
California
Special
Olympics Soccer Tournament!
My team won
3-2
and
2-0.

Since there are no Olympics on,
it must have
been
a
very
special
olympic tournament.

. . . and a repost from
his ark hives.
(What
Noah
transported
the
bees in.)

Is this really any of our bees'
nest?

To him it must have been the bees'
knees
so it ta
kes
repeating.

You shouldn't be keeping track of him.
He might sta
rt
waxing
lyrical
or
something.

Which lyrics might he sing and why on a
phonograph
cylinder?

I was thinking more along the lines of wax
on, wax off.
But I
will
not
bee my brother's keeper.

Any Orion? Any Orion?
Any any any Orion?

?

Careful. He has a sting in his tail.

Praps that's why he's buzzed off then.

Praps. Or his segmented eye has spied something
begining wi
th
b.

Compound eye - or if he's a pharmacist, Medicinal
Compound ey
e.

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/Lily_The_Pink
.sh tml

I'll drink to that!

I'm not allowed - yet!

Are u still pickled, you dill?

Had a tiny free sample of Sauvignon-Shiraz in the
supermarket
yesterday.
First drop of booze I've had since March when I was
advised to qu
it!
It
was
luvvverly!

How rubbery.

A local chemist years ago did a Medicinal Compound -
a cough syru
p,
with
9%
Morphine in it. It was extremely popular and an aunt
of mine used
to
drink
it straight from the bottle whether she had a cough
or not - unti
l I
showed
her the list of ingredients. She had a very rough
time getting off
it
too.
So you gotta be careful.

What was it called?

Butes' Cough Syrup. It was their own brand.

Wot a strange name.

(They were pretending to be Boots, the big chemist
chain.)

They should have called it Butt's Cough Syrup. Might
confuse the suppository lovers though.

A bit like the old monks putting tons of alcohol in their
herbal heal
th
drinks, Benedictine, Chartreuse etc. to make sure they
sold.

Can you blame them? Nobody would buy the **** otherwise.

Don't be too sure. Benedictine tastes good enough for both
Southern Comfo
rt
and Drambuie to pinch the recipé!!!

Like Chartreuse, it's extremly sweet though, so your average
big barst . . sorry, bar-frequenting bloke with big balls
between his ears would probab
ly
say they're crap because he thinks they're poofs' drinks,
wooden 'T'?!

I'm partial to Frangelica but I wood not touch Irish Mist with
my barge pole.

Filth!

Svygu?

Dhvgr svygul vaqrrq!

You boys don't need to talk with your mouths full of man meat.

What should they be full of then?

Later on, mine will be full of sandwiches of mushrooms fried up with leek
and garlic with a little tomato purée and lime juice stirred in, on
wholemeal bread.

Wot? No meat? Are youz a veggie or sometin?

If you fry the mushrooms until they're a bit over-done, they take on a very
meaty taste.

And yez I iz! Vegan for around 45 years, so you're a bit late to complain
now!! )

I was on an NHS training course once and we got talking about diet, and one
less-knowledgeable (thick) young lady very seriously assured me that if I
didn't consume animal products I would die. That's what I said to her.
Laughs all round - red face on her!

I bet she swallowed rather than spat.

She was thrown off the course shortly afterwards after threatening to break
a computer because the tutor wouldn't immediately come over and help her
with a problem. This was in a community centre and the PCs had been paid for
with a charity grant - and she knew that! Some people!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegan

Yeah, vegans are real salad *******.