Funny Radio isums...

We have an approach controller in Dayton who is very funny. I always enjoy
talking to him. He rarely uses the "traditional" ATC words unless you don't
understand him and he has to repeat it. One day he was having a
communication problem with a pilot about what to squawk. 5 times he
instructed him to squawk 1234; however, the pilot kept repeating 1324.
Finally, he told him to write down the numbers exactly as he said them and
slowly repeated the squawk a 6th time. When the pilot successfully repeated
it to him he said "Great!! Nice job. Now I want you to make your
transponder look exactly like what you wrote down." Several pilots chimed
in thanking him for a good laugh.

"Kevin Chandler" writes:
We have an approach controller in Dayton who is very funny. I always enjoy
talking to him. He rarely uses the "traditional" ATC words unless you don't
understand him and he has to repeat it. One day he was having a
communication problem with a pilot about what to squawk. 5 times he
instructed him to squawk 1234; however, the pilot kept repeating 1324.
Finally, he told him to write down the numbers exactly as he said them and
slowly repeated the squawk a 6th time. When the pilot successfully repeated
it to him he said "Great!! Nice job. Now I want you to make your
transponder look exactly like what you wrote down." Several pilots chimed
in thanking him for a good laugh.

You mean the controller didn't do this on the /third/ try?

On 14 Nov 2003 17:36:33 -0800, (Snowbird)
wrote:

wrote in message . ..

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?

My personal funniest malapropism to date was one time when
the Tower asked if I had my landing light turned on. I
replied I had everything turned on, then realized what I'd
said by the gale of backround laughter over the controller's
dry "roger".

Guyzzzz!

The funniest thing I heard was one time when I was getting
some kind of feedback squeal in my radios. I asked
"ground, do you hear an annoying squeal during my transmissions?"
Without missing a beat, the (male) controller shot back
"no ma'am, that individual just went downstairs"

Some years back... 94, 95...some where in there, my wife and I flew
the Deb out to visit my daughter in Boulder Colorado. Our Destination
was to be Jefco (BJC). My apologies to those of you who have read
this story a dozen times already.

To say the weather was "el-stinko" would be an understatement. They
had tower Q over the mountains, but unfortunately they had slid off
into the Boulder, Denver, and parts east areas. We were expecting to
find nice weather with the storms over the mountains.

A half hour after we passed Lyman they had a Tornado.

At first there were these huge towering Q, but as we neared Arapaho it
began to get hazy. (I don't think that VOR is there any more).

At this point I was talking to Denver app. They cleared me to BJC,
but it was difficult to hear as we were just about getting the snot
beat out of us. That was probably the roughest ride I've had (of any
distance). I kept hearing, "Thirty Three Romeo, .... ..... cleared
direct BJC" and I'd readback" Thirty Three Romeo cleared direct BJC".
The controller would come back with , "Negative! That was Thirty Three
Romeo...Cleared.... .... direct BJC".

This exchange was repeated at least 3 or 4 times as I recall with the
controller finally saying "one_more_time_ Thirty Three Romeo
pauseClearedpause directpause Arapahopause directpause BJC",
which I repeated. I'm sure I could hear some cheering in the
background. But those guys knew what all of us out there were having
to contend with. There was some really bad weather and we all wanted
to get on the ground and the controllers were doing their best to get
us there and our destinations at the same time.
It was a case of the weather being far worse and far sooner than
forecast.

About one minute later he came back and gave us "OK, this time
Debonair Eight Thirty Three Romeo, cleared direct BJC", which took us
right over the south end of Stapleton(sp?).

We didn't get caught in any hail, but it took out the copilots wind
screen on a Beech 1900 departing Stapleton (sp?), Splintered roofs in
Boulder, totaled out a couple of new car lots, and thoroughly trashed
what had been a really nice Seneca (which was in the air). I'm not
sure how it flew, but there wasn't much left that looked like an
airfoil.

As we were driving out of the parking lot at the FBO located on the NW
side of Jefco I looked up to see a Cherokee spit out the side of this
big, black, towering Q. He was probably a bit more than being 90
degreeded. Fortunately he did get it straightened out.

Roger Halstead (K8RI EN73 & ARRL Life Member)
www.rogerhalstead.com
N833R World's oldest Debonair? (S# CD-2)

Zingggg!

Cheers,
Sydney

Saw something similar posted on the net a while ago...

On a quiet frequency one night

Unknown A/C: "I'm f**king bored"
ATC: "Aircraft calling identify yourself."
Unknown A/C: "I said I'm f**king bored, not f**cking stupid!"


Phil
www.pfactor.com

On my first flight into C airspace with my instructor (as a private pilot
student) I didn't realize the policy of the tower was to ask for GA planes
to shut off their transponders while doing circuits.

Tower:
"cessna 1234, squawk standby"

either a lame response from me, or no response

tower repeated the call at least 2 more times before my instructor asked if
I was going to turn the transponder switch to standby as I had acknowledged
the call and he knew I heard it.

I thought I was standing by for a new code and they were just taking their
sweet time making one up.

Jeff ) wrote:

then said, "what kind of ground speed are you showing on that tomahawk"
tower said 100 kts, the airliner goes, 100 kts over the ground! Oh
boyyyyyy..

During my instrument training we were about five miles out on an ILS
approach when a taxiing B737 arrived at the runway and called ready. I
thought for sure the tower would clear him for T/O but instead they
instructed him to hold short for landing traffic.

On this clear day there was a moderately strong headwind, so my groundspeed
was somewhere around 65kts in a C172. About thirty seconds elapses when
the pilot of the B737 asks the tower, "What kind of aircraft is
approaching, a helicopter?"

--
Peter

Roger Halstead writes:

Some years back... 94, 95...some where in there, my wife and I flew
the Deb out to visit my daughter in Boulder Colorado. Our Destination
was to be Jefco (BJC). My apologies to those of you who have read
this story a dozen times already.

To say the weather was "el-stinko" would be an understatement. They
had tower Q over the mountains, but unfortunately they had slid off
into the Boulder, Denver, and parts east areas. We were expecting to
find nice weather with the storms over the mountains.

A half hour after we passed Lyman they had a Tornado.

July 1993. That's Limon, the Hub City of Eastern Colorado.

At a military field a number of jets were in the pattern doing FMLPs ( I
think the acronym is correct but it isn't important. One of the pilots had
the annoying habit of blowing into his mike every time he keyed the
transmitter. After several trips around, the LSO had had enough....
"Dagger two-six," he called, "you've been blowing in my ear all
afternoon. If I meet you later at the O-Club, will you kiss me?"

"Casey Wilson" wrote

At a military field a number of jets were in the pattern
doing FMLPs

Field Carrier Landing Practice FCLP

I landed about the same time as a 767 (different runways) and ended up
taking the same taxiway as the big bird. We entered opposite ends of the
taxiway about the same time and turned to face each other like in a western
movie gun battle. He needed only to travel about 1/3 of the taxiway before
turning off, while I needed to travel the whole length to get to the ramp
where I parked. Obviously we weren't both going to accomplish our goals at
the same time. Ground control told me where the jet would be turning off,
directed me to give way to the jet, and cautioned for jetwash. I paused for
a second, then answered, "I've given it some thought and I've decided to let
the big guy have his way". I don't know if it was the jet pilot or another
pilot on the field that answered, but while laughing he said, "Good thing -
you'd lose".

JimC

wrote in message
...
I'm working my way through my IFR training...
Today on the radio "79V switch to 134.0"

Where I dial in 134.0 on the toggle freq acknolege the request
switch to COM2 (Meant to hit toggle)
Annonced that I was checking in....
At which point ground control (from where I'd left 15 min ago)
tells me they don't know why I'm calling..... with laughter.

I realise that this in only slightly funny, but makes me wonder
what is the funnyist thing you have ever heard on the radio?


Paul