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#1
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L.A.R.K. Program
I'm neither left nor right, but I do admit... it's funny.
Subject: L.A.R.K. Program A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response. Dear Concerned Citizen: Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay , Cuba .. The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington . You'll be pleased to learn that thanks to the concerns of citizens like you we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck! Cordially, Don Rumsfeld |
#2
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And I just received the letter in the mail from the wonderful australian
goverment to tell me that I have to have a lock on my plane so the terrorists can't steal it..... Peter "Flyingmonk" wrote in message oups.com... I'm neither left nor right, but I do admit... it's funny. Subject: L.A.R.K. Program A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response. Dear Concerned Citizen: Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay , Cuba . The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington . You'll be pleased to learn that thanks to the concerns of citizens like you we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck! Cordially, Don Rumsfeld |
#3
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"Bushy Pete" wrote in message ... And I just received the letter in the mail from the wonderful australian goverment to tell me that I have to have a lock on my plane so the terrorists can't steal it..... Peter Peter, Perhaps you should start a movement down in OZ to ban truck rentals. Rental trucks, unlike light aircraft, have been proven to be incredibly useful terrorist tools that have taken hundreds of lives. They are essential ingredients in not only the dreaded "truck bomb", but if the terrorists ever did decide to use a light aircraft in one of their schemes, they would undoubtedly need a rental truck to transport their bombs and gases to the airport. Indeed, if they were to get in an accident along the way to the airport to load the plane, the loss of human life would likely be even greater than if they were to succeed in using the plane! BAN the TRUCKS! |
#4
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Now you're spreading mis-information. It was clearly demonstrated in Miami
that a Cessna is as effective a terrorist weapon as a baseball. "Dude" wrote in message ... Rental trucks, unlike light aircraft, have been proven to be incredibly useful terrorist tools that have taken hundreds of lives. |
#5
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Is Bush trying to minimize terrorist truck bombings by increasing gas
prices at the pump? Just a thought... Them trucks do guzzle gas. Bryan |
#6
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Flyingmonk wrote:
I'm neither left nor right, but I do admit... it's funny. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. And, of course, bogus. http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/lark.asp |
#7
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I for one, didn't need any website to tell me that it was a hoax. Did
you? Bryan |
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