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Probably seen this, but a fun read (again)



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 16th 03, 04:33 AM
John
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Probably seen this, but a fun read (again)

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing you were down here.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane, used to keep the
pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which you can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. (Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival, and
vice-versa.)

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number
of takeoffs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and
round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds
of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has
yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not subject to repeal!

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
the runway behind you, and a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. But there are no old,
bold pilots.

26. 99% of flying is pure boredom, interrupted by moments of terror.

27. The sign of a superior pilot, is one who never has to employ such skills
to keep themselves out of situations requiring their use.


  #2  
Old November 16th 03, 09:28 PM
Clive
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"John" wrote in message
. com...
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing you were down here.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane, used to keep the
pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which you can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. (Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival, and
vice-versa.)

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number
of takeoffs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and
round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds
of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has
yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not subject to repeal!

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
the runway behind you, and a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. But there are no old,
bold pilots.

26. 99% of flying is pure boredom, interrupted by moments of terror.

27. The sign of a superior pilot, is one who never has to employ such

skills
to keep themselves out of situations requiring their use.

Two I will always remember from my first instructor in the RAF.

1. Always expect the unexpected
2. If in doubt - there IS no doubt

Clive


  #3  
Old November 17th 03, 01:57 PM
Rhodesst
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Good one folks. One of my favorites will always be:

Helicopters are Different...

Here's a blatant piece of propaganda put out by those sneaky fixed-wing guys.
It's supposed to send you away with steam coming out of your ears. Only
trouble is any heli pilot will agree with every word it says. Overcoming all
the problems is what gives us our natural feeling of superiority.



HELICOPTERS ARE DIFFERENT FROM PLANES


An airplane, by its nature wants to fly and if not interfered with too strongly
by unusual events or by a deliberately incompetent pilot, it will fly.


A HELICOPTER DOES NOT WANT TO FLY

It is maintained in the air by a variety of forces and controls working in
opposition to each other; and if there is any disturbance in the delicate
balance, the helicopter stops flying immediately and disastrously. There is no
such thing as a gliding helicopter.

This is why being a helicopter pilot is different from being an airplane pilot
and why, in general, airplane pilots are open, clear eyed, buoyant extroverts,
and helicopter pilots are brooders, introspective anticipators of trouble. They
know if anything bad has not happened it is about to!

Fly Safe,
Steve R.



"John" wrote in message
.com...
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing you were down here.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane, used to keep the
pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which you can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. (Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival, and
vice-versa.)

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number
of takeoffs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and
round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds
of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has
yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not subject to repeal!

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
the runway behind you, and a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. But there are no old,
bold pilots.

26. 99% of flying is pure boredom, interrupted by moments of terror.

27. The sign of a superior pilot, is one who never has to employ such

skills
to keep themselves out of situations requiring their use.

Two I will always remember from my first instructor in the RAF.

1. Always expect the unexpected
2. If in doubt - there IS no doubt

Clive



 




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