Dave D wrote:
My club pre-solo phase check consisted of 2 hours of sarcastic comments
about all the ways I would have killed myself, or busted either the airplane
or class B airspace.

well at least you didn't have a CFII who didn't use a E6B to teach
me something but instead used a tazer. grin We both have a sick
sense of humor. hehehehe. Makes a good shocker when I tell
people a passenger next to me on a plane pulled out a tazer
right after takeoff and told me "Do exactly as I say and nothing else
and we will all be safe and you will not be harmed." hehehehe.

When it was done, after bouncing the landing and
struggling to expedite the Citabria off the runway for landing traffic, I
unconsciously vocalized the only thought my brain could construct: *god
dammit!*. Unfortunately, I was still holding the mic key... The check CFI
was laughing his ass off.

hehehehe. Kind of like my IFR club phase check where the instructor
wanted to do the last landing to keep current. He said it was going
to be a precision landing. I asked what he was aiming for. He said
"I'm going to hit the numbers of course." Well he landed, well, ummm,
firm. I said (off the radio), "Well you sure hit those f**king numbers.
Did you mean to land on them or go through the numbers???"

While I'm at it, my favorite was on short final the controller said
there were quite a few birds by the end of the runway. I said, "Traffic
in sight."

Actually just yesterday, the plane before me said he was going to one
of the restaurants on the field. While I landed behind him. I saw
some big rabbits on the runway. I said on air to the controller, "For
your information there are quite a few rabbits on the runway. Maybe
the pilot in front of me would like some rabbit stew."

Gerald