P.S. I scored a 98% on my written and am a bit worried that this may
indicate I know nothing at all of real-world IFR flying! It also may
indicate that I think like the FAA, which scares me even more. Perhaps
I should retake and hope for a lower score?


I hope this is a joke. The "don't get too high a score on the knowledge
test" theory is yet another aviation myth. Hint: the examiner already
knowns you don't know anything about real-world IFR flying...you don't have
your rating yet.

Yes, it was certainly a joke. :-) It was funny, too, damn it.
Although, thinking like the FAA is something that would scare me a bit.