Cockpit voice transcipt of Hudson River Crash. Breaking news
"Maxwell" #$$9#@%%%.^^^ wrote in
:
wrote in message
news:9cce87d7-340c-4a3e-bb15-6d40b46d0a20
@v5g2000prm.googlegroups.com..
. On Jan 29, 11:27 am, Tech Support wrote:
Dick
Very bad taste.
Big John
end..........gone
************************************************** **
On Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:12:04 -0500, "Shelly" wrote:
Subject: Cockpit Voice Recorder
Here is the transcript from the voice recorder from the Hudson River
Crash
starting after the bird strikes.
PIC is a Pilot in Command, SIC is Second in Command, you all know
who Sully
is.
SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."
Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot (that's a baby
helicopter a real egg beater)? Just shut the f*cker down, boy. Oh,
and tell Departure that we need to come back in and land. F*cking
birds..."
SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this
morning.
You don't have to insult me just because I got my commercial
helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way, sir,
we're not climbing,
if you even care. Maybe your decision to take on that extra 5,000
pounds of
fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."
Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union
keeps you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."
Bang!
Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"
SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."
Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the
gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"
SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."
Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here
every winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch
him right in
the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."
SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or
straight-in to 22 at Newark?"
Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark. I've
flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind. And
their
FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking river than land at
Teterboro. Hey...."
SIC: "You're not..."
Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some
prick Canadian snowbirds."
SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"
Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I
think it
was in a...Piper...somethingoranother, I forget. Never mind. It'll
all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing checklist and
run it."
SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find
one for
that."
Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and
tell the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no
wait, that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace for
collision'...no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's
better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane they
can see theIntrepid Museum, and that if they'd like to visit it,
they'll be able to, this afternoon, like,
in about twenty minutes. Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring
me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink.
And have that one with the big tits bring it up. If I'm gonna die, I
wanna die drunk
and with a boner."
SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"
Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really
appreciate it if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm
fairly certain that my grandfather did not die with a boner. I mean,
have you ever met my grandmother?"
SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the
Hero Pilot
of the Year."
Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal *******s. All I care about is what the
fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls me a
hero!"
SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my*
name. It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the
big f*cking
hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the cockpit."
Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at
heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career to
be called a hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go to
retirement. That was close!"
SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."
Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no
sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn
sightseeing helicopters.
What's best-glide/engines out?"
SIC: "Beats the **** outta me."
Sully: "Vref?"
SIC: "F*ck if I know."
Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"
SIC: "December 2, 1981."
Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."
[END OF RECORDING]
Dick Lammerding
Cloverdale, CA
In Vino Veritas
Going to Usenet for good taste is like going to the men's room for the
literary selection.
------------------------------------------------------------
..or asking a dumb ass like you.
Nuther dazzler the re Maxie.
Bertie
|